We may have stumbled onto something here. Listen . . .
“The Jets are unstoppable!”
Remember that? Remember when everyone was saying that? Wasn’t it not too long ago? And what happened?
The Jets went plop.
“The Raiders! They’re on their way! No one stops them now!”
Remember that? Remember when everyone was saying that? It was just two weeks ago, wasn’t it? And what happened?
The Raiders went plop.
“Washington! Yes! Washington is the team to beat! The beast of the east!”
Giants 24, Washington 14.
“Denver! They’re a mile high in Denver! How about those Broncos? How about Elway?”
How about 37-10, to Kansas City?
I detect a pattern here. Something scientific, a discovery just waiting to be, uh, discovered. Like the fact that inhaling on a helium balloon makes you sound like one of the Chipmunks.
I mean, who discovered that? It had to be by accident, right? Well, OK then. What if we suddenly discover that the amount of talk about a football team inversely affects that team’s performance?
Hey. It could be.
And maybe it works in reverse.
Maybe the more you say a team is lousy, terrible, the pits, the more you ensure it will ultimately win big.
Hmmm.
Worth a shot.
All together now.
“THE LIONS ARE GONNA GET KILLED! THEY’RE GONNA GET STUFFED! THEY COULDN’T WIN AGAINST 11 DUCKS!”
And now, the picks . . .
BEARS 21, LIONS 17: Well, hey. I mean, it was only a theory.
BILLS 21, COLTS 10: Indianapolis cannot afford to win any more.
GIANTS 17, CARDINALS 14: I’d like to pick an upset here. I really would. I might, I might . . . Nah, forget it.
49ERS 27, PATRIOTS 20: Unless it’s snowing. People from San Francisco don’t know what to make of snow. They think it’s something you sprinkle on your Belgian waffle.
STEELERS 45, NY JETS 24: Just a hunch.
PACKERS 27, BUCS 10: The battle of the Bays. We wait all year for this one! Well . . . maybe not all year.
SEAHAWKS 17, CHARGERS 10: The Seahawks suffer from fresh air poisoning. They win here by holding their breath for 60 minutes.
BROWNS 21, BENGALS 20: Hey! Yeah! The battle for Ohio! Big deal. They can have it.
RAMS 35, DOLPHINS 16: “The Rams are the team to beat! The Rams are unstoppable!” I’ve been hearing that lately. Look out, LA.
EAGLES 20, COWBOYS 13: Hey. Why not? Everybody else has whipped up on Dallas.
FALCONS 27, SAINTS 13: The Atlanta players have not talked to the media all week. Maybe they have nothing to say.
VIKINGS 30, OILERS 7: On the whole, Houston prefers the baseball season.
RAIDERS 24, CHIEFS 20: This Plunkett guy could be pretty good in a couple of years, don’t you think?
BEST PICK LAST WEEK: Chargers 21, Oilers 6. Chargers won, 27-0.
WORST PICK LAST WEEK: Broncos 28, Chiefs 10. Chiefs won, 37-10.
RECORD LAST WEEK: 6-7-1.
RECORD FOR SEASON: 136-56-2.
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