Its the hardest thing that everyone goes through, because we dont have the power to control what is lost. We all love to have power over something, and when we are forced and our hands are tied behind our backs we have no power over keeping anything here. I should know. Im 19 years old and i lost my god mother to cancer, A diegnosis that NO ONE has the cure to. So desperetly do i wish that i could of done something to help her. No one choses what happens to them in life, its a guessing game. No one asked for cancer but the one that take the challenge on are the most dareing and most amazing people i know. No matter what kind of cancer they have. My godmother was always there for me no matter what. she knew everything about me, even when i would call her and try to hide my upset voice, she knew there was something wrong and always told me to talk to her. I remember one day she was really sick from the chemo and i called her up all upset but hideing it and she knew i was so upset and as much pain as she was in and even though it took her 10 mins to say a sentence because she would be sick and coughing, she never wanted to get off the phone with me. I looked up to her in many way and i always needed her. I remeber one time i was in school and i called her and i talked with her and my teacher got so mad at me but i needed her and she was there for me. Any time any place any where i could always go to her seeking help, comphort, care and advise. Now that shes gone i feel like im all alone. I want to talk to her. I always blocked out other people because her advise made the most sence to me and all i wanted was her. Now i cant pick up the phone and talk with her, now i cant hear her voice and most of all im only 19 years old and i feel lost in this world, because i dont have her and my biggest troble is not being able to talk with her. if i could just talk with her all my troubles will go away. Now im just caitlin.