Reply To: Dealing with loss

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Three years ago, I lost my friend Bruce. We had been friends since high school, through college and after. Bruce was the perfect gentleman. Always sweet, always respectful. But one night something happen that changed our friendship. He had invited me to a party at his friends house. His sister picked me up because Bruce was helping his friend with the party. (It was 1983, i.e. kegs of beer) Anyway, being that alcohol was involved, I made a decision to walk away from the party with his friend (No, I didn’t sleep with him. The guy was a pig) But Bruce, knowing his friend, never spoke to me again. I called Bruce a few times over the years, after his dad died, before HS reunions. And even in those short and few conversations it almost seemed like we could talk about anything. But we never got really close again on a regular basis. Bruce died from cancer 3 years ago. I was devastated, even though I was married with 3 children. Devastated because I really had lost Bruce 25 years earlier and I was too stupid to realize it. So it has been a very hard loss. And if I could have just 15 minutes to apologize to Bruce and tell him how very sorry I am that I did not make an effort to communicate or clarify any misunderstanding. And, in addition to all that past, after Bruce died and I realized what a great guy he was, I was finally able to go to counseling for abuse and leave my abusive husband that I met 2 weeks after the loss of my Bruce friendship. So I also want to thank Bruce, for in his death, he opened my eyes. He brought me new life and a new beginning. He actually saved my life, and I love him.

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