I don’t know if you caught this story. On Thursday, a Northwest plane full of New York Giants fans was forced to make an emergency landing. Why? Because the fans were getting too rowdy.
It’s true. The plane was going from New York to Los Angeles, where the Giants play the Rams on Sunday. And being typical New Yorkers, these people got on the plane, sat down, and said, “Stewardess, get me a drink. Now.”
By the time they got to Phoenix, so to speak, they were sloshed. So the flight attendants, who must have felt like they were on a subway by this point, cut off the liquor. Sorry. You’ll have to wait until we get to Los Angeles — which, by that point was maybe an hour-and-a-half away. But, remember, these are New Yorkers, to whom an hour-and-a-half is roughly the same length as the 17th century.
They demanded their booze. They shouted. They screamed. They got so rowdy the pilot was forced to land the plane in Las Vegas. Really. He had to land an entire aircraft because he was afraid these football fans would get out of control, as if they weren’t already. One of these fans, who threatened to punch a crew member, was arrested.
It just goes to show you what can happen when Phil Simms completes a few passes. And we can only hope the judge will dish out the fair and most severe punishment:
Send the guy back to New York.
Now, for this week’s picks . . .
* Detroit 21, Minnesota 20: I hope Andre Ware has a good day. But I’m afraid if he does, his agent will want more money.
* Chicago 30, Atlanta 14: The Bears like to beat people up. The Falcons like to beat people up. This difference is, the Bears know how.
* Indianapolis 20, New England 17: If you play for the Patriots these days, a pulled hamstring is considered a blessing.
* Miami 14, NY Jets 3: Didn’t Dolphins-Jets games used to have scores like 56-54?
* Buffalo 24, Phoenix 7: The Cardinals are upset about Phoenix losing the Super Bowl in 1993. Yeah. Right. Like they had a chance to go.
* New Orleans 20, Tampa Bay 17: Don’t tell Andre Ware, but Vinny Testaverde
— a first-round draft pick who won a Heisman Trophy — just got benched.
* San Diego 31, Denver 21: The Chargers have my favorite name for a fullback. Marion Butts. He just sounds like he belongs in the end zone, doesn’t he?
* LA Raiders 26, Green Bay 10: Last time Don Majkowski played in LA, he said the smog made him choke. Won’t be the smog this time, Don.
* Kansas City 28, Seattle 14: Seattle, on the other hand, seems to choke on fresh air.
* NY Giants 100, LA Rams 3: Never pick against a team whose fans can bring down an airplane.
* San Francisco 28, Dallas 20: One of these weeks, San Fran is going to lose. Not this week, however.
* Philadelphia 26, Washington 24 (Monday night): Sorry, Skins. Only the Lions can make Jeff Rutledge look like Johnny Unitas.
* Record last week: 8-6.
* Record last week vs. spread: 7-6-1.
* Season record: 78-38.
* Season record vs. spread: 62-52-2.
* Best pick last week: San Francisco 23, Green Bay 21. 49ers won, 24-20.
* Worst pick last week: Dallas 21, New York Jets 17. Jets won, 24-9.