* Phoenix 12, Lions 10: Detroit is the only team where quarterbacks fight over who gets to be No. 3, because that means you get to start next.
* NY Jets 21, Washington 10: You have to hand it to the Redskins. In the years they don’t go to the Super Bowl, they really stink.
* San Francisco 28, Atlanta 24: The 49ers score more points per quarter than the Pistons.
* Buffalo 20, Philadelphia 13: Why are the Eagles still playing? Didn’t we send them home with a doctor’s note?
* Chicago 17, Tampa Bay -3: Now, that’s a defense.
* Dallas 23, Minnesota 13: Jimmy Johnson, Glen Campbell called. He wants his hair back.
* Kansas City 17, Denver 14: Montana. Elway. That’s like hydrogen meeting oxygen.
* Houston 19, Cleveland 10: How come I haven’t heard Buddy Ryan say anything dumb lately? Is he ill?
* LA Raiders 7, Seattle 0: Sleepy time out west.
* New Orleans 20, LA Rams 3: Why are the Rams still playing? Even their own fans don’t want to watch them.
* New England 1, Cincinnati 0: Now here’s a game you won’t want to miss.
* NY Giants 26, Indianapolis 9: Whatever youth potion Phil Simms is drinking, I want some.
* Green Bay 20, San Diego 14: Reggie White was going to play Santa Claus this year — until he found out Santa works for free.
* Miami 16, Pittsburgh 14 (Monday night): Does the injury mean no Isotoner gloves from Dan Marino this year?
* Best pick last week: San Francisco 28, Cincinnati 7 (49ers won, 21-8).
* Worst pick last week: Green Bay 14, Chicago 10 (Bears won, 30-17).
* Record last week: 7-7.
* Record vs. spread: 9-5.
* Season record: 111-57.
* Season vs. spread: 79-86-3.