* LIONS 21, PACKERS 17: They say Jerry Ball is out. They say Eric Sanders is out. They say this Lions team is one big emergency ward. I say it’s Green Bay we’re talking about here, remember?
* CHICAGO 16, TAMPA BAY 7: At this point in the season, the Bucs should just stay home and mail in the results.
* SAN FRANCISCO 24, KANSAS CITY 10: I know it’s easy to pick on backup quarterbacks, but when their names are Bono and Vlasic, I mean, come on, what do you expect?
* PITTSBURGH 28, CINCINNATI 19: I wouldn’t watch this game if you dressed me up like Santa Claus and put me in a room full of screaming 6-year-olds.
* PHILADELPHIA 9, DALLAS 7: Without Jim McMahon, the Eagles have as much trouble scoring as the Pistons.
* HOUSTON 33, CLEVELAND 26: I wish I had a nickel for every passing play in this baby.
* MINNESOTA 41, LA RAMS 20: Hey! The Underachievers Bowl!
* NY JETS 23, NEW ENGLAND 20: I don’t want to sound cruel, but I sort of hope someone aims his helmet at Brad Baxter’s knee, then says, “What? I was just trying to block!”
* ATLANTA 24, SEATTLE 10: Ooops. There go the Seahawks, venturing outside again.
* MIAMI 24, SAN DIEGO 20: Miami? San Diego? Why bother to play football? Just pass the tanning lotion.
* WASHINGTON 24, NY GIANTS 20: And to think, this game means absolutely nothing.
* DENVER 24, PHOENIX 3: No! No! NO! This has got to stop! John Elway is thinking about going to the Super Bowl again!
* BUFFALO 21, INDIANAPOLIS 10: The only thing these two teams have in common is shoulder pads.
* NEW ORLEANS 20, LA RAIDERS 16 (Monday night): Face it. If the Saints slide any farther, they’ll have to be called the Sinners.
* RECORD LAST WEEK: 11-3.
* RECORD VS. SPREAD: 9-5.
* SEASON RECORD: 140-56.
* SEASON VS. SPREAD: 99-90-7.
* BEST PICK LAST WEEK: Kansas City 24, San Diego 19 (Chiefs won, 20-17, in overtime).
* WORST PICK LAST WEEK: Cleveland 28, Denver 27 1/2 (Broncos won, 17-7).
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