Hating the Heat good for NBA biz
I’ve been watching the NBA playoffs and I have to say, I’m really enjoying them, even though I believe Shaquille O’Neal is only on the broadcasts to prove how large a man can fit on how small a barstool. And if Kevin Garnett pounds his chest one more...
KOBE, LEBRON PROVE YOU CAN’T DO IT ALONE TO WIN AN NBA TITLE
Kobe Bryant finally answered the questions.1) Who would you rather have – him or LeBron James? 2) If you reached a Game 7, which guy would get you home?3) If you needed one shot to win it all, which guy would you have take it?And the answer is  Neither.You...
BALD IS-BEAUTIFUL NBA’S LATEST BAD FAD
It is not my place, as a travel-weary journalist with a clanking jump shot, to offer sky-walking, world-famous, unspeakably rich professional basketball players a hair-styling tip.
But I’ll do it anyhow.
Yo. NBA.
What’s with all the bald heads?
I go to a Pistons game last weekend, I’m lost. I can’t tell half the players apart. Bald. Bald. Bald. It’s like a Hare Krishna convention.
No less than six, count ’em, six totally hairless Pistons. Half the team. And I’m not including Ron Rothstein, who is losing his hair the old-fashioned way, though stress.
NBA FINALS DEMAND A HOLLYWOOD FINISH
LAKERS-PACERS? A prediction?
No problem.
* GAME 1: The opening tip is delayed 90 minutes due to a limousine backup outside the Staples Center. Because so many movie stars are there — Jack Nicholson, Dustin Hoffman, Denzel Washington — scalpers’ prices soar to
$10,000 a ticket. Several Lakers scrubs, realizing they’re not going to play anyhow, sell their seats, leaving Kevin Bacon, Jim Belushi and Ben Stiller actually sitting on the LA bench.
HOUSTON’S SUDDEN DEPARTUREJUST ANOTHER SIGN OF NBA’S GREED
Pistons fans are holding a big pie of anger this morning. What they want to know is: Who gets it in the face?
WITH NO POLICY, IS NBA GOING TO POT?
Let me give you the straight dope on the NBA’s marijuana policy: There is no policy.
You heard me. Under NBA rules, if a player wants to puff a joint, then go out and play a game, there is nothing to stop him. Nothing, of course, except that it’s against the law in most places. But if the player can beat that, the league has no punishment. It won’t even test him.
This is astounding. In a sport that pays for and depends on maximum physical performance, there is no testing for marijuana? No penalties for being arrested for possession?
IN THE NEW NBA, YOUTH IS WASTED ON THE YOUNG
NEWS ITEM: Kobe Bryant, a 17-year-old high school basketball player, announced last week that he would skip college and immediately enter the NBA draft. He follows 19-year-old Kevin Garnett, who did the same thing last year. Many worry that the pattern will continue, and that college may one day be seen as a meaningless step in a pro sports career. “How much younger can it get?” one coach wondered . . .
LOS ANGELES, May 5, 2014 — Six-year-old Joey (Slamma) Jamma called a press conference to announce that he was skipping elementary school and jumping straight to the NBA draft.
NHL PLAYERS IN DREAMLAND, UNLIKE SPITEFUL NBA BRETHREN
NAGANO, Japan — I have this nightmare every now and then. I close my eyes, and I am back in Barcelona, watching Charles Barkley tell a packed audience that the NBA had arrived, so the rest of the world “should just take their ass-whipping and go home.”
I wake up in a cold sweat.
Like a switch thrown by Dr. Frankenstein, the original Dream Team spawned a monster too large to subdue. Letting multimillionaire basketball stars into the Olympics was like letting Imelda Marcos into the Athlete’s Foot.
PISTONS PROVE THEY BELONGDETROIT PART OF NBA ELITE AFTER 2-OT LOSS TO CELTICS
BOSTON — In the end, they were playing for their lives. This was more than basketball, this was deeper than a win or a loss. With two overtimes and a tapestry of magical, pressure-soaked basketball behind them, the Detroit Pistons were beyond hoops, beyond free throws. They were staring their very manhood in the eye.
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