When we were kids, we used to pull open the refrigerator and moan, “There’s nothing to eat.”
The shelves weren’t empty. There was plenty to choose. What we meant by “nothing to eat” was nothing we wanted to eat.
Which brings us to the American diet.
Last week, the Department of Agriculture released a fresh set of guidelines for what we should and shouldn’t consume. It contained a new “food pyramid,” a relic from the last century in which recommended foods make up the wide part and foods to be minimalized make up the narrow point.
This new pyramid flipped the script from pyramids past. The one from the 1990s recommended grains and starches — including bread, cereal and pasta — as the highest intake, with fats and oils at the bottom.
The 2026 version puts protein, dairy, healthy fats and vegetables at the top, and grains in the basement.
Robert F. Kennedy Jr., the new Health and Human Services secretary, apparently had major input on this list. He told the media it represented “the most significant reset of federal nutrition policy in history.”
Maybe. But when I read it, it only confirms what I have long believed:
Nothing generates more opinions in this country than what you should eat.
A generational thing
Remember the Woody Allen film “Annie Hall” where he says, “Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat … college.”
That’s kind of how it is with food. Every generation has its strong beliefs about what’s good for you, and the next generation says: “You’re nuts.”
(Speaking of nuts, they used to be down there with fish and poultry, but now those two have jumped to the top and nuts are down with bananas and cereal. Go figure.)
Our grandparents used to tell us we should eat red meat every day. A glass of milk before bed was good for you. Potatoes were a vegetable.
Then came all kinds of fad diets. A grapefruit diet. A raw food diet. For a while, everyone was supposed to eat low-fat, high-carb foods. Then everyone was supposed to eat low-carb, high-fat foods.
Ted Nugent swears by eating red meat every day, but only the kind he kills and cleans himself. Other folks eat only vegetables — no meat, no dairy, not even fish. Certain doctors claim moderation of all foods is enough. Others say your gut is your second brain.
The contradictions from place to place and person to person can give you a stomachache. Grains are good; grains are bad. Have yogurt every day; ugh, dairy is terrible for you. Cheese is great, look at the French; cheese is terrible, look at pizza eaters.
Whole milk is awful; oat milk is worse. Chocolate is a no-no; dark chocolate is healthy. Fats make you fat; fats are a key to brain health. Coffee makes you nervous; a cup a day is better than none. An apple a day makes you sick from pectin.
In the United States, EAT should stand for Every Available Thought.
When junk food wins out
So now we have a new pyramid, and some folks are up in arms about it. They say Kennedy is a crazy man. How can meat and milk be good for you? How can moderation with alcohol be better than a firm limit? How can butter be a “healthy” fat?
And lost in all of this is that the majority of Americans are still like our kid selves by the refrigerator: all these recommendations and nothing we want to eat.
So instead, we go for junk. We shop in the “snacks” aisle. We grab fast food. Why is it that with all this eating advice, all this information, all the science and manufacturing that has gone into “healthy food” research and development, Americans are consuming more processed foods than ever?
Because we want what we want. We ignore the advice. Or maybe we just get too confused by the contradictions.
In which case, one clear conclusion by the new report is dead on target: Stop consuming things like potato chips, pork rinds, processed meats and pop.
Stop with the sugary drinks and doughnuts for breakfast. Knock off the peanut-butter pretzels, the ice cream cones, the fried everything.
If Americans did nothing but that, health would dramatically improve, the cost of medical care would drop, and no one would have to worry about how many avocados we ate every day.
But food is big business, and when you put profit and health in the same ring, health usually gets knocked out.
So we go on arguing, and maybe 100 years from now, we’ll find out that French fries and Cool Whip were actually the best things for our bodies.
Until then, I’m waiting for a pyramid that says: “Never eat any food advertised during a football game.”
It would be so much easier to keep track.
Contact Mitch Albom: malbom@freepress.com. Check out the latest updates on his charities, books and events at MitchAlbom.com. Follow @mitchalbom on x.com.
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