HOW WHOOPI PLAYED THE GAME AND LOST

HOW WHOOPI PLAYED THE GAME AND LOST

Whoopi Goldberg had been hawking Slim-Fast as a way to shed pounds. Last week, Slim-Fast shed Whoopi.The company announced it would no longer use Goldberg in its ads, even though she’d been signed as a spokesperson eight months ago. The reason: Goldberg’s...
HOW WHOOPI PLAYED THE GAME AND LOST

Don’T Tell Us, We’Ll Tell You Who’S A Leader

Ialways laugh when politicians tell voters who is “fit to lead.” It reminds me of a cat telling mice where they should hide.

Last week, John Kerry told us John Edwards, his new vice presidential candidate, was fit to lead, even though earlier this year he criticized Edwards, saying the White House “was no place for on-the-job training.”

Edwards, for his part, told groups of cheering fans that his new boss was fit to lead, even though a few months ago, Edwards was doing his best to knock Kerry out of the race.

HOW WHOOPI PLAYED THE GAME AND LOST

AMERICA’S TEAM

They may, one day, win it all again, sooner than people think, maybe even next year, but they will never again have a night like this. Rasheed Wallace, giddy, dumping champagne on the team’s PR man, Kevin Grigg, then yelling, “Don’t worry, K.G.,...
HOW WHOOPI PLAYED THE GAME AND LOST

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

They attacked all night, the way you attack a fire, the way you attack an enemy hill, no counting on luck, fate or chance, just sheer will and your own pounding lungs, drive the rim, drive the lane, until finally, the horn sounded to end their eight-month shift, which...
HOW WHOOPI PLAYED THE GAME AND LOST

What Can Brown Do? Just About Anything

The loading dock area where the players come out was still mobbed with people, nearly an hour after the game. They thumped ThunderStix and screamed at a glimpse of their heroes. Ben Wallace hid inside his SUV, talking on the phone, waiting for the crowd to clear. Tayshaun Prince tried to stay out of sight, against the wall, but someone spotted him and began screaming, “Tayshaun! Tayshaun!” and soon a hundred people were screaming it, too. Rip Hamilton emerged through the door and blinked, as if he’d awoken to find a marching band in his bedroom.

HOW WHOOPI PLAYED THE GAME AND LOST

JUST ONE, BABY!

The storm arrived, the thunder clapped, and lightning shattered the darkened sky.And that was inside the building.the referees’ whistles seemed to say, “It’s slipping away, Lakers,” the Pistons showed their greatest resolve in these NBA Finals,...
HOW WHOOPI PLAYED THE GAME AND LOST

Hello, I Am From Detroit — And Proud

Magic Johnson was on the phone, talking about the differences between living in Michigan and living in Los Angeles.

“The biggest difference?” he said. “Hospitality. Just saying hello.”

Saying hello? How hard is that?

“Do you know that in L.A. you can live for 20 years in the same house and not know your next-door neighbor?” Magic said. “Can you imagine that happening in Michigan? You’d know the whole neighborhood.”

We offer that up as Defense Exhibit A in what has been, to this point, a one-way spit-fest between La-La Land and the Motor City.

HOW WHOOPI PLAYED THE GAME AND LOST

D-STRUCTION!

Their one guard was supposed to outshine the entire Pistons backcourt. Heck, after Kobe Bryant’s miracle shot in Game 2, he threatened to outshine the entire Pistons roster. It was Kobe this and Kobe that. Kobe’s destiny. Kobe’s greatness. That kind...