Ballpark Belle Beckons Last Fans
SHE AWAKENS today as she always has, her lid open to the sky, her grass stretching for sunlight. But this time, there is something in the autumn air, something final, something sad. Like a fading belle of the ball, she seems to sense it, yet ignores it. This will be the last morning of her baseball life. She knows it. She inhales proudly and raises her blue and white chin to the morning light.
“Are you ready?” the city seems to ask.
“Ready,” Tiger Stadium sighs.
Can Elephant Dung Be Part Of Real Art?
Once again, the eternal question arises: “You call that art?”
This time, the questioner is Rudy Giuliani, the mayor of New York City, who is so incensed by a new exhibition that he is threatening to take over the museum.
And this time the art in dispute involves the Virgin Mary, which has long been a favorite of the masters, and elephant poop, which has not.
Dad Knows Best, But Does He Know Barry?
Idon’t want to burst any bubbles here, but if Barry Sanders’ father has to make an appointment to talk to his son, just how influential can he be?
I mean, imagine the big “showdown” this weekend.
DAD: Barry, I’m here. Let’s talk.
BARRY: And your name is …?
Believe me, all this entire sad affair proves, once again, is when they say it’s not about the money, it’s about the money.
Same Old Story? Wait Till You See The Ending
LIKE I’VE BEEN saying for years, once the Lions dump that Sanders guy, they can win a few football games.
Well. You got a better explanation? This is no longer the team you knew and loathed, Lions fans. That was clear at the start of the fourth quarter Sunday, in Game 2 of The Year of Living Barrylessly. The Lions (now known as “The Silver and Who?”) lined up for a punt near their end zone. Everything went fine until the snapper actually snapped the ball, which subsequently flew over John Jett’s head and landed somewhere in downtown Pontiac.
TAKE THE TIME NOW TO SAY YOU’RE SORRY
I’m sorry.To you, who are reading this column in the kitchen. To you, who are reading over coffee at the deli. To you, who are stretched out in an easy chair after a long afternoon of football-watching. To all of you within the reach of this paper and this...
Barry Speaks Volumes With Continued Silence
AWORD here to Barry Sanders, and I choose it carefully, thoughtfully and after much consideration:
SPEAK!
Enough already with the silence thing. Barry is pushing goodwill to the edge of the cliff. He is making fools out of people who defend him. And his trademark love of quiet is starting to look more and more like a negotiating ploy.
Barry Who?Unsung Players Help Lions Snare A Road Win Sans Sanders, Moore
SEATTLE — They lost their first superstar over the summer, when he retired without a phone call. They lost their second superstar minutes into Sunday’s season opener when a lineman came flying into his knee. Down he went. Off he went. Carted away. Future uncertain. Herman Moore gone. Barry Sanders gone.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is all the superstars the Lions had.
“For a split second there,” offensive tackle Ray Roberts would later say, “I thought I heard all the TV sets in Detroit click off at once.”
SUNDAYS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN
Something strange is happening in our city. Today marks the beginning of football season, and everywhere you look, women are blinking at an usual sight.Men.”Want to go shopping today?” the husbands ask.”Shopping . . .?” say the...
WHY CAN’T WE USE YOUR BATHROOM?
Ihad to go.Not leave. Go. As in, use the facilities? As in, find a bathroom? That kind of go.Fortunately, I was in a bookstore, a major chain outlet, one that also had a coffee bar and muffins. These places usually have bathrooms, and I zoomed around the back until I...Stay Connected
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