HOW DOES SCOTTY PICK HIS GOALIE? IT’S NO JOKE

Collins Drives Himself, His Team With Passion

So many voices inside Doug Collins’ head, like an army of transistor radios all playing at once. There is the voice of his mother, urging him to succeed, and the voice of his father, stricken with lung cancer, saying, “Doug . . . I don’t want to die.”

There are voices of his two grown children, whom he adores, and voices of players, coaches, friends, philosophers — all these voices, snapping sparks in his brain, making him run, then stopping him in his tracks.

If you wondered why Doug Collins is so frantic on the outside, you should see what’s going on inside.

HOW DOES SCOTTY PICK HIS GOALIE? IT’S NO JOKE

Up Close and Personal, Dole is Simply Droll

He entered the ballroom and walked briskly to his seat. The crowd applauded as strobe lights flashed and photographers lifted their cameras that made whirring and clicking sounds. He smiled and sat down, an arm’s length away, and I thought maybe, just maybe, I am sitting next to the next president of the United States.

HOW DOES SCOTTY PICK HIS GOALIE? IT’S NO JOKE

Panic? These Wings Count On Patience

Patience, patience. If there was one lesson learned from the opening of the most anticipated hockey playoffs in Detroit history — and let’s be honest, you shouldn’t learn more than one thing from the first game, right?
— it was that patience will not only be a worthy companion on this horse ride through the postseason, it may keep you sane.

“When already?” Wings fans seemed to ask, as Detroit went scoreless in the first and second periods Wednesday night, and trailed the eighth-seeded Jets by a 1-0 score as the final frame began. “What are you waiting for?”

HOW DOES SCOTTY PICK HIS GOALIE? IT’S NO JOKE

In Baseball Now, The Gaprefers To The Generations

It’s Opening Day here in Detroit, and fans are preparing in the traditional way, shoveling snow.

Soon, players will be pulling on their ski masks, and hot dog vendors will stick their hands in boiling water, just to get some feeling back in their fingers. The tarp will be lifted from the field — so the snow plows can come in — and once the salt trucks finish in the parking lot, and the umpire is defrosted, finally, the big moment, when the first batter walks to the plate, turns to the catcher and says, “M-m-m-man, even my bleep is cold.”

And he spits.