NEWS ITEM: Friday, Aug. 16, was the anniversary of Elvis Presley's death in 1977. Thousands mourned at Graceland, his home. Some, however, believe Presley is alive. . . . "I met Elvis at the supermarket. He was coming down the frozen foods aisle and I was coming up. His black hair was long now and pushed under a baseball cap. He wore oversized sunglasses. But I knew it was him. I have every album, I've seen every movie -- even "Clambake." I knew it was him.
Snow is falling. I hear a knock. I open my door. And look who I see doing their sports Christmas carols . . . Wayne Fontes, "Silent Night" Silent night, roster is light, This one's injured, that one's tight Down went Rodney, and Jerry and Mike Eric and Cofer, they're riding the bike Could we get a delay-ayyy and do the playoffs next May?
I never got to say good-bye to Scott Hastings. Neither did anyone else around here. He was traded a few weeks ago, to Denver of all places. Jack McCloskey, who moves the pieces on the Pistons' board, made the deal, then telephoned Hastings in Atlanta, where he lives in the off-season. "Hello, Scott?" Jack said, and Hastings acted surprised, like he was hearing from an old college buddy. "Hey! Jack! What's up?" And Jack chuckled and said, "Come on. You know what's up."
TO: NFL MANAGEMENTFROM: DETROIT LIONS FANS Dear Sirs:Please excuse our football team from next week's Monday night game against the San Francisco 49ers. We will be unable to attend because of a total lack of desire to end the season with a loss on network TV to a team so powerful it uses Joe Montana as a scrub.No thanks. We prefer to close the season right here, in Detroit, after Sunday's 16-3 victory over Chicago. Even with our losing football team, beating the Bears still means something. Mostly it means we can go to bed without vomiting.
I tap my clipboard. I glance at my watch. I am standing in the Tigers' clubhouse, waiting for Kirk Gibson. I figure he's next. And then Lance Parrish, or maybe Tom Brookens. I have already checked off the following names from my former Tigers list: Dan Petry. Check. Darnell Coles. Check. Walt Terrell. Check.Walt Terrell?"I was kind of surprised myself," Terrell said as he again pulled on a Tigers uniform before the game Sunday. "I figured since they traded me three years ago, there wouldn't be a lot of interest in me a second time."
Hmm.Let's see if I rmlr..remeb..remember Oops...V$&Tlzj $!!!...wait a sec."First press 'log on' button."Ahhhhhhhh...Well now. Back to work. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. They also say college gets you a good job. So they are on drugs, I guess.But I will say this: sitting on the sidelines all summer has made me a much smarter sports columnist.I have been right about everything.
Contrary to popular belief, there is one thing Barry Sanders did not do that he was supposed to do this year. He did not appear on "Late Show with David Letterman." Scheduling problem. A shame, really. The Letterman people see this supersonic little running back, great moves, beloved by kids, they figure "Terrific. Dave will have a blast. Book him."What they don't know is Barry's verbal repertoire, with people he doesn't know, usually consists of these three sentences:1. "Hmm."2. "Is that right?"3. "You think so?"
* LIONS 23, BEARS 17: Too bad Jim Harbaugh isn't putting his $70,000 on the line this week. The Lions could use it to buy an offensive lineman.* SAN FRANCISCO 24, TAMPA BAY 10: The 49ers would like to win and stay in San Fran throughout the playoffs. The Bucs would like to stay in San Fran throughout the playoffs, too. On vacation.
Mitch Albom writes about running an orphanage in impoverished Port-au-Prince, Haiti, his kids, their hardships, laughs and challenges, and the life lessons he’s learned there every day.
