Out here in the hinterlands, there’s one thing we know. Whenever East Coasters start defining a Midwesterner, we better get out a shovel.
It happens a lot. Suddenly, big city people who’ve barely spent any time here throw out a slew of adjectives, and a character is born. It often fits the silly stereotype of what many coastal elites already think of us, which Chicago columnist Mike Royko once referred to as “amusing rustics.”
This predictable trait of East casting Midwest was on full display last week, after Kamala Harris chose Minnesota governor Tim Walz as her running mate. Suddenly, gushing evaluations of Walz began flowing from places like the New York Times, CNN and MSNBC, all, by the way, located within 40 city blocks of that unique Midwestern island known as Manhattan.
Walz was “folksy,” “cuddly,” “earnest,” “humane.” One Times writer gushed that when Walz does certain things, like holding up a piglet in a state fair, she sees her “Grandpa Arnie.”
Well, one thing is accurate, Walz is old enough to be a grandpa. Other than that, the people molding him into “Father Knows Best” likely don’t know any more about him than I do.
But I know one thing some of them don’t. Having lived my first 25 years in four East Coast cities, and all the decades since here in Michigan, I know how wrong it is to assume you know someone from the middle of the country just because he was a high school teacher, or a National Guardsman, or, oh yeah, an assistant football coach.
When it works for them, politicians adore football coaches. And the Harris-Walz camp, and the media outlets that prefer them, love the idea of Walz, the vice presidential candidate, being cast as Coach Taylor in “Friday Night Lights.” Dedicated. Caring. Clear-eyed. You know, Midwestern!
Except Coach Taylor was from Texas.
Which is not likely to vote for Harris and Walz.
In fact, having also spent much of my life around football coaches, I can tell you a whole lot more of them are likely to go for Donald Trump and JD Vance.
So maybe that stereotype doesn’t work either.
A quick read
Look. It’s an insult to suggest that Midwesterners can be defined one way, just as it’s an insult to think every New Yorker will mug you, every Bostonian will say “pahk the cah in Havaad yaad” and every Philadelphian will throw a snowball at Santa Claus.
Having lived in all three of those places, I consistently found liberals and conservatives there.
Homeliness and rudeness. Warm family types and cold, indifferent strangers.
And you know what? You’ll find all of that here in Michigan, too. And in Minnesota, Iowa, Indiana or Nebraska.
ZIP code makes no difference. Hey, Michigan voted for Trump in 2016, and for Joe Biden in 2020. In the last 33 years, we’ve had two female Democratic governors, and two male Republican ones. And all that time, we continued to wear our plaid shirts, our hunting caps and our high school windbreakers.
Which is the kind of clothing, and image, that Democrats are pushing giddily on Walz, in an effort to make him appealing to the middle of the country. One CNN analyst said he “looks and sounds like small-town America” and “just dropped out of a Norman Rockwell painting.”
First of all, can we stop using Norman Rockwell to imagine what people who don’t live in New York or LA look like? Rockwell’s last painting was in 1963!
And what we look like doesn’t define us.
What does define a politician, however, is what he or she says, and more importantly, what he or she does. Walz may very well be a nice guy and a fine citizen. But in a quick read (and that’s all any of us have had time to do since his selection last week, a quick read, despite the seeming certainty of countless pro-Walz profiles), he certainly has done things that don’t fit the Midwestern gentility his acolytes are trying to drape him in.
Stooping to stereotypes
For one thing, he’s fond of yelling “Mind your own damn business!” as the mantra of his governance and the people he represents. But during COVID-19, he actually set up hotlines in Minnesota where people could report their neighbors for things like not wearing a mask. Whose business is that minding?
He’s happy being cast as “Midwestern Nice.” But the other day, on a “White Dudes For Harris” zoom, he boasted how great it would be “to see that bastard (Trump) wake up afterward and know that a Black woman kicked his ass.” That’s not what we call nice in these parts.
He says things like “one person’s socialism is another person’s neighborliness.” Huh? His position on abortion is clear: He signed laws in Minnesota removing all restrictions, including a 24-hour waiting period and parental consent, with no limit based on how far along a pregnant woman is.
But is that really “Midwestern?” According to a 2023 Public Religion Research Institute study, North and South Dakota both have majorities who still feel abortion should be illegal in all or most cases, while in Nebraska, Iowa, Missouri and Indiana, at least 40% feel the same way. Even states that have majorities in favor break down differently when you talk about late term abortions or fetal viability.
So Walz hardly speaks for the entire Midwest on that issue, nor does his wide-embrace stance on gender-affirming care, which is a hot-button topic in these parts. Based on actions and policies — not football whistles — he seems much more aligned in the progressive liberal camp, which is fine.
Trying to hide it is not.
But then, as Peggy Noonan of the Wall Street Journal recently wrote, “We’re a nation of casting directors now.” Political campaigns don’t speak, they market. And too often these days, media don’t investigate, they paint.
Out here in the hinterlands, we’ve seen this too many times to fall for it. So don’t tell us how how folksy, cuddly or Midwestern someone is, or what Rockwell painting they stepped out of. Tell us, honestly, what he or she is going to do for people in our region. Even better, stop with the speeches, and, to paraphrase a Midwestern governor, answer some damn questions.
It’s the kind of thing we amusing rustics like to think of as responsible.
Contact Mitch Albom: malbom@freepress.com. Check out the latest updates with his charities, books and events at MitchAlbom.com. Follow him @mitchalbom.
0 Comments