As we NFL pickers enter the Thanksgiving holidays, let us give thanks for the following:
1. Jim McMahon doesn’t have a younger brother.
2. Lawrence Taylor doesn’t have enough material for another book.
3. The LA Raiders have finally shut up.
4. Dan Dierdorf.
5. Whoever hired Dan Dierdorf.
6. Brian Bosworth has to wear a helmet.
7. The 30-second clock.
8. The instant replay check — when it works for your team.
9. The trouble in Dallas. It’s about time the Cowboys had some problems.
10. The scab team that assured us the New York Giants won’t be back in the Super Bowl.
11. John Madden . . .
12. . . . in small doses.
13. Refrigerator Perry’s fumbles.
14. John Elway’s scramble passes.
15. The fact that nobody’s saying: “Hey, maybe we should go out on strike.” . . .
And now, this week’s picks . . .
BEARS 28, LIONS 21: I see it now. First and goal for Chicago. Refrigerator Perry comes in. They give him the ball. He’s hit! He fumbles! . . . And the Bears recover in the end zone for a touchdown.
NY JETS 23, BUFFALO 21: The battle for New York. They can have it.
SAN FRANCISCO 27, TAMPA BAY 17: When Tony Bennett sang about “my city by the bay” he wasn’t talking Florida.
NEW YORK GIANTS 23, NEW ORLEANS 21: I think it’s safe to say the Giants are the best 3-6 team playing today. Oops. Make that 4-6.
SEATTLE 30, SAN DIEGO 20: The Chargers come crashing to earth, and hit the Kingdome roof.
DENVER 21, LA RAIDERS 20: Bo Jackson is already a better running back than he was a baseball player.
INDIANAPOLIS 23, NEW ENGLAND 20: I keep waiting for the Colts to get lousy again. I keep waiting for the Pats to get good again. I keep waiting.
GREEN BAY 20, KANSAS CITY 17: Do you know who Frank Seurer is? No. He is not the hot dog salesman. He is the Chiefs’ new quarterback. Frank Seurer?
PHILADELPHIA 27, ST. LOUIS 10: Do I sense that Buddy Ryan is getting (gulp)
. . . popular?
MIAMI 35, DALLAS 31: Call him Herschel Runner this weekend.
CLEVELAND 28, HOUSTON 27: And that . . .
PITTSBURGH 19, CINCINNATI 17: . . . takes care of the AFC Central.
MINNESOTA 35, ATLANTA 10: zzz . . . (snore) . . . grzzlp . . . zzzz.
(MONDAY NIGHT) WASHINGTON 20, LA RAMS 12: Oh, Eric, we hardly knew ye.
RECORD LAST WEEK: 10-4.
RECORD AGAINST SPREAD: 7-7.
RECORD FOR SEASON: 55-42-1. BEST PICK LAST WEEK: SEATTLE 30, GREEN BAY 13 (Seattle won, 24-13).
WORST PICK LAST WEEK: MIAMI 30, INDIANAPOLIS 20 (Indianapolis won, 40-21).