Let’s give thanks, NFL style
Filled with the spirit of this wonderful holiday weekend, we who follow the NFL should be thankful today that: Dexter Manley doesn’t have a brother who plays football.
Lions fans only have to see Anthony Carter twice a year.
Brian Bosworth plays way up in Seattle, where nobody can hear him.
The Broncos won’t make the Super Bowl, so we won’t have to be bored to death again.
Tom Landry isn’t the screaming kind.
Elvis never showed up for Jerry Glanville’s tickets.
Jamie Morris is getting a chance in Washington.
Atlanta doesn’t often get on network TV.
Phoenix, where it’s warm, is looking more and more like a playoff site.
It gives us an alternative to Buffalo.
There will be no Bay teams in the playoffs.
Bernie Kosar and Big Bird have never been photographed together.
And now, this week’s picks . . .
* MINNESOTA 23, LIONS 0: I have a hunch about this one.
* HOUSTON 25, DALLAS 17: Trust me . . . * CLEVELAND 20, WASHINGTON 17: It’s bye-bye to the Super Bowlers . . .
* LA RAMS 20, DENVER 17: . . . on both sides of the country.
* CHICAGO 23, GREEN BAY 11: The Bears could give their first- stringers the holiday weekend off.
* PHILADELPHIA 23, PHOENIX 21: W.C. Fields must be turning in his grave this season.
* KANSAS CITY 13, PITTSBURGH 10: Or, for a viewing alternative, a PBS special on mulch.
* ATLANTA 26, TAMPA BAY 20: Talk about turkeys.
* CINCINNATI 17, BUFFALO 16: The Bills are so far ahead, they can take a vacation.
* MIAMI 35, NY JETS 28: It seems silly for Dan Marino to work when he doesn’t have to.
* INDIANAPOLIS 20, NEW ENGLAND 19: If Doug Flutie starts wearing goggles like Eric Dickerson, I quit.
* NEW ORLEANS 28, NY GIANTS 20: Somehow, I just can’t feel sorry for the Giants when they lose. I don’t know why.
* SAN FRANCISCO 30, SAN DIEGO 12: Yeah, I know the Chargers have been fooling people. I think they’ve been fooling themselves, too.
* (MONDAY NIGHT) SEATTLE 21, LA RAIDERS 17: If that guy with the earring starts mouthing off, the Raiders have my blessing to knock the stuffing out of him.
* RECORD LAST WEEK: 10-4.
* SEASON RECORD : 110-57-1.
* LAST WEEK VS. SPREAD: 9-5.
* SEASON VS. SPREAD: 84-81-3.
* BEST PICK LAST WEEK: Cleveland 23, Pittsburgh 7 (Browns won, 27-7).
* WORST PICK LAST WEEK: LA Rams 31, San Diego 12 (Chargers won, 38-24).