'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the nation America was fighting And filled with frustration Left against right, You versus me Old against young Fox versus MSNBC Gas! No, electric! Open borders! No, closed! Woke! No, tradition! Donald! No, Joe! Nowhere it seemed Could we find common ground Not on war, race or money Our ire was profound Even the Lions Who’d had us enthralled Had started to splinter And fumble the ball It seemed beyond hope That our country could find Something all could agree Would unite humankind So Ma in her kerchief, And I in my cap Went to bed around midnight For a long winter’s nap When out on the lawn There arose such a clatter We sprang from the bed To see what was the matter Then to my wandering eyes Did appear A massive stage pulled By men dressed as reindeer And klieg lights so bright They eclipsed the moon Then a sleigh with the top down Arrived with a zoom “We’re here to unite you! “You’re lucky to have us! “You know me as Taylor, “And this here is Travis!” “At last!” someone screamed “A sight to unite us! “Taylor and Travis “Could cure meningitis!” The music was blasting Couldn’t hear yourself cough As in a short skirt, Taylor Screamed, “Shake it Off!” And the country went wild With reverent applause Until a boy rose and whispered “But it’s not Santa Claus” The amps all fell silent The band froze in place The world turned to stare At this little boy’s face “WHAT DID HE SAY?” Swifties prepared to dish “I asked Santa,” he said “To grant me one wish.” “And what did you wish for?” Taylor asked of the lad “Name it” Travis added “Want a brand new iPad?” The boy looked away He said, “Not that exciting “I just wanted Mommy and Dad To stop fighting.” “And my uncles and aunts “To stop arguing nightly “And my school to stop saying “Who’s wrong and who’s rightly “And the TV to stop “Predicting the end “And my neighbors to go back “To being friends.” A silence descended With no room for song For there was no pop answer For getting along A sheepishness rose As we thought of our noise And the impact of anger On young girls and boys We lowered our heads Looked down at our toes When a new sleigh alighted By a reindeer’s red nose “Merry Christmas,” yelled Santa “The kid’s got it right. “Be nicer to each other … “And to all a good night.” Contact Mitch Albom: malbom@freepress.com. Check out the latest updates with his charities, books and events at MitchAlbom.com. Follow him @mitchalbom.
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