IT’S NOT WHAT YOU SAY, IT’S WHERE YOU SIGN
Ben Wallace is scheduled to talk today. But I have heard him talk before. I’ve heard him talk by his locker. I’ve heard him talk in the Palace hallways. I’ve heard him talk sitting across from me, one on one, his head dipped, his big hands pressing...
WHY SHANNY SPLIT
There’s a time when you cast a shadow and a time when the shadow casts you. This, more than anything, is why Brendan Shanahan left the Red Wings on Sunday and signed with the New York Rangers.”It was just a growing instinct,” he said via phone from...
Thanks, Captain!
From the day he was drafted, a shaggy haired kid with a soft, nervous voice, he promised to do his best, even though, as he warned a TV interviewer, he sometimes tried to do too much. Who knew that sentence would be an understatement? He did so much for his team and his town that in time it became immeasurable – and impossible to reproduce. Steve Yzerman, the man, will get up today as a retired hockey player and go on with his life.
But Steve Yzerman, the idea, is likely gone for good.
Graduation Day From Other Side Of Street
It was a graduation. It was June. The ceiling fans spun overhead and the microphone squeaked when a young woman began to speak.
“Before I came here,” she said, “I was a student. ”
She paused. The crowd listened patiently, some fanning themselves against the heat.
“I was a student addicted to cocaine and marijuana. And I was an alcoholic. ”
Many nodded.
“My attendance decreased. I had no self-esteem. I was just a lost soul. ”
More nods. A yell of encouragement.
“Today, I have the tools to lead a successful, productive, sober life. ”
TIGERS STARE DOWN ROCKET’S RED GLARE
The old man on the mound had been masterful, dominating, placing pitches as if he’d been throwing them all season instead of just a few weeks out of retirement. But he was leaving now, growling, cursing, glaring at the umpire, with no runs to support him and two baserunners he had created with ball fours. It was the seventh inning, under deepening blue skies, and one thing was certain on this summer night in this summer of Detroit baseball: the Tigers were not losing to Roger Clemens.
But it might be the other way around.
Friendships Form In Slow Moments
So I was sitting down to write this column about summer and how that season has changed, because the official “first day” of summer came last week, and for my generation, that meant a shift into slow motion, long, languid days nursing a Coca-Cola, or rolling cornmeal on fishing hooks, or seeing who had a sprinkler to run through, or taking another bicycle ride around the same five blocks.
Stop The Presses! Tigers Owed Apology
It’s never good to start with an apology, but we owe one to the Tigers and we should say so at the top. This is a good team with a great story and until very recently, some of us in the media treated them the way middle-aged disc jockeys treated early rock ‘n’ roll: just a fad, a flash in the pan.
Well, they’re more pan than flash. The Tigers have talented young pitchers, a proven veteran starter, hungry hitters and a manager who understands games are won by what’s in the players’ heads as much as what’s in their swings.
Millions Of Reasons To Love Larry’S Agent
To: Mr. Joe Glass, Larry Brown’s agent
Dear Mr. Glass,
I would like you to represent me.
Before you say yes or no, may I say how much I admire your work? I have watched you take Larry Brown from Denver to New Jersey to San Antonio to L.A. to Indiana to Philadelphia to Detroit to New York City. Wow! Where I come from, you only move that much if the cops are chasing you. Any agent who can find that much work is my kind of guy!
Baby Talk? Listen, I’Ve Got The Scoop
Before I share my “exclusive” interview with Brad and Angelina’s baby, let’s talk price. I want $4 million. Same as they reportedly got for the photos. Anybody can point and shoot a camera. It takes a special person to speak Goo Goo.
So we’re agreed? And cash, no checks. Meanwhile, here’s a little sample from my Blockbuster Scoop of the Year:
“So, little Shiloh, let me be the first to verbally welcome you to the world. How does it feel to be the most famous infant since Jesus?”
“Are you my dad?”
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