FRENCH LESSON: IT’S POLITICIANS, NOT THE PEOPLE
Here is what I think about France: I am in high school. My parents have a surprise. I have never been to Europe before. I get a passport. I board a plane. I speak to a cab driver, for the first time, in a foreign language. I see the Eiffel Tower, at night, in the...
What In The Name Of Guard: Billups Out-Kobes Kobe
And his name is Chauncey.
He was not the most famous guard on the floor Wednesday night. That distinction belonged to a guy named Kobe. You know Kobe? Best player in the NBA these days? Speaks Italian? Scores 40 points the way Sergei Fedorov skates a circle?
Kobe was the famous one, the richer one, the Chosen One. He came out of high school and has been with one team ever since, the L.A. Lakers, winning three championship rings by his 24th birthday.
Cinton Vs. Dole: Too Tame For Tv?
Tonight, on “60 Minutes,” history will be made. An ex-president, Bill Clinton, and his old rival, ex-senator Bob Dole, will begin a stint as point-counterpoint debaters.
Andy Warhol got it wrong. It’s not fame everyone will have in the future; it’s a chance to scream at someone on TV.
The liberals already do it to the conservatives on CNN and Fox. Celebrities do it with Bill Maher on HBO. Ebert used to do it to Siskel, and now he does it to Roeper.
Big Men, Little Buddies How Draper, Shanahan Touched Their Short Lives — And Vice Versa
There are bonds you are born with, like your parents or siblings, and bonds you choose, like friends and lovers. Then there are the bonds that come along by accident, that somehow choose you, and draw you in like destiny.
For Kris Draper, the Red Wings’ oft-grinning forward, the bond began with a phone call. A teenage girl from Shepherd, he was told, had leukemia and was in the hospital. She was a huge Draper fan. Could he possibly call her?
Yao Wows Us, And He Has Room To Grow
Well, you have to admit, the guy can definitely win a tip.
I mean, Yao Ming didn’t control that opening jump, he knocked it into next season. If that ball were lettuce, it would be salad. If that ball were a balloon, it would land in Oz. If that ball were . . .
Well, you get the idea.
A WRONG TIME TO SHOW OFF ALL HER RIGHTS
There should be no debate on this: Toni Smith, a college basketball player, has the right to turn her back on the flag.She has the right to protest during the national anthem. She has the right to disagree with President George W. Bush’s plans for war in Iraq....
Plane Truth Costs Attendant Her Job
Lisa Kesner is looking for a job. She used to be a flight attendant. She worked for several years on the Red Wings’ private plane, where she was reportedly conscientious and safety-oriented. You know, the things you want in a flight attendant.
That is, if you’re a regular person, flying commercial. If you’re a multimillionaire athlete, flying private, you may have different expectations.
Read All About It: Barry Is Still Retired
There used to be this “Saturday Night Live” routine in which Chevy Chase, as the Weekend Update newscaster, reported on the death of Spain’s dictator, Francisco Franco. Every week, Chevy would say, “This just in: Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead!”
It’s starting to get that way with Barry Sanders, isn’t it? Every few months, we get a new report, a man on the microphone, a newspaper account, an eyewitness. The message is always the same: “This just in. Barry Sanders is still retired.”
This just in: Water is still wet.
This just in: The sun is still hot.
Once Again, Captain Shows He’S All Heart
What they did to Steve Yzerman last summer, you wouldn’t wish on a prisoner. They cut his leg bone with a saw, then chiseled it until a path was opened. They wedged that path wider with a fork-like device, then inserted a steel plate, then tightened that plate with screws, then packed it with spare bone material. Then they woke him up.
They call this medicine.
“Osteotomy” is its official name, and if you’re lucky and you fully recover, you have less pain as you walk your grandkids to school. You are not supposed to resume an NHL career.
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