Americans Cling To Belief Only We Are Above Cheating

Americans Cling To Belief Only We Are Above Cheating

SYDNEY, Australia — Let’s get something straight, right from the start. Either you believe Olympic athletes use drugs, or you live on Mars.

And if you believe Olympic athletes use drugs but American athletes don’t — then you also live on Mars.

And if you believe American athletes use drugs, but when they’re caught, they’ll immediately fess up to it, then you really live on . . .

Well, you get the point.

Americans Cling To Belief Only We Are Above Cheating

HOP RIGHT TO IT: TRY SOME ‘ROO

SYDNEY, Australia — I did not waltz with Matilda.I ate her.I admit it. I ate kangaroo. And I feel terrible. I need to get this off my chest — er, stomach. I ate kangaroo. I dipped it in sauce, bit and swallowed.I ate kangaroo. At the time, I thought no...
Americans Cling To Belief Only We Are Above Cheating

TWO SWIMMERS CONQUER GAMES IN OWN WAYS

SYDNEY, Australia — This is the story of two men at opposite ends of the pool. One flies through the water, the other sloshes. One takes on the best in the world, the other appears fortunate not to drown.The first is a Dutch medical student named Pieter van den...
Americans Cling To Belief Only We Are Above Cheating

Finally, An Uplifting Story From The Games

SYDNEY, Australia — Women have always been smarter than men. I used to believe that. Now I’m not so sure.

One thing that always made women smarter was their acceptance of things. Like weight. In prehistoric days, for example, a cavewoman would look at a rock and think, “Hmm, that rock looks heavy.”

Whereas a caveman would not only think the rock looked heavy, he would feel a compelling need to see HOW heavy, so he would grab the rock, raise it as far as his struggling muscles would allow, then drop it on his head.

Americans Cling To Belief Only We Are Above Cheating

THORPEDO? AT 17, HE’S STILL A KID

SYDNEY, Australia — I’m sorry, folks. The Human Thorpedo will not be coming out for his news conference.I will be taking his place.That’s right. Me. I am taking over Ian Thorpe’s life. The teenage Australian Swim God has given me his blessing....