Mr. Oscar’S Answers Worthy Of An Award
Once again, it’s time for Mr. Oscar, the man with the Academy Award answers. He’s the Best Boy! The Key Grip! Let’s go to this year’s mailbag.
Dear Mr. Oscar: What is the secret of “The Crying Game?”
I (boo hoo) can’t tell you.
Dear Mr. Oscar: If Clint Eastwood actually wins Best Actor this year, what will his acceptance speech be like?
“Unnnh . . . rrrr . . . thank you . . . rrrnnn.”
Hey dude. I don’t see “Wayne’s World” nominated for nuthin’, dude. What’s the matter with those sphincter boys dude?
Shouldn’t you be in wood shop class?
Bye, George And Good Riddance! U-M Lucky To Survive
SEATTLE — There are nights when the Michigan Wolverines play basketball as if God controlled their bodies, and there are nights when they play as if they were asleep in church. Friday was the latter.
Congratulations, fellas. In a season full of amazing feats, this was a real coup: You managed to win a tournament game and lose respect.
“It wasn’t our best effort,” said Jalen Rose, after Michigan survived against 12th-seeded George Washington, 72-64, and advanced to the final eight.
“We need a little fine-tuning.”
World Ever Evolving In The Life Of Riley
SEATTLE — The last time he was here, he wore a cast on one foot and street clothes to the game. He sat behind the Michigan basketball team as it played for the national championship. And when that championship was won, and the buzzer sounded, he ran onto the floor, cast and all, and celebrated in a happy pile of players. The whole world was ahead of Eric Riley in those days. He was a redshirt freshman, an apprentice to glory, just waiting for his turn in the uniform. “I thought,” he says now, “I would be celebrating like that again. Only with me playing.”
U-M’S BACKGROUND STARS SHARE LONE STAR WAYSJACKSON-KING FRIENDSHIP GROWS FAR FROM HOME
As the plane began to descend over Texas, Jimmy King stirred from his sleep. Maybe he heard his hometown calling. Maybe he sensed that his parents might greet him at the airport, with some of those Mexican desserts he likes. He stretched and looked out the...
JUST IN TIMENEXT YEAR? WOLVERINES REFUSE TO WAIT
TUCSON, Ariz. — They were hanging on the cliff, staring into the abyss. All their promise, all their expectations, the entire weight of their own curious legend had suddenly come crashing down on them, knocking them to the floor, every UCLA jump shot that burned...
JUST TWO POINTS MAKE ONE DREAM COME TRUE
TUCSON, Ariz. — He didn’t want much. Just one basket. That’s not a lot to ask from a college career, is it? One basket?For this, he would work. For this, he would sacrifice. For this he would sit at the end of the bench, night after night, year after...
Coastal Damage Wolverines’ Cool Blowout Best Left As Dust In Wind
TUCSON, Ariz. — Less than five minutes into Tournament II, the Michigan Wolverines saw all they needed to see. Jalen Rose had the ball on the perimeter. He should have dumped it inside. Instead, he pulled up and fired a long, long three-point try. It missed. A mistake. No matter. Juwan Howard got the rebound, and out it came to Jimmy King. He also should have dumped it inside. Instead, he took a long, long three-point try from the baseline. It missed. A mistake. No matter. Juwan Howard got the rebound. Out it came.
PITY THE BASKET CASE AT TOURNAMENT TIME
TUCSON, Ariz. — “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been 12 months since my last confession.””Go on, son.””I need help. My marriage is in trouble. My family is in danger. My job is on the line. And it’s all...
Two Worlds Conquered Fifth-Year Seniors Pelinka,Voskuil Excel On The Court, In The Classroom
The moments come out of nowhere, like no-look passes that hit them in the head. Maybe James Voskuil is running drills in practice and suddenly — boink!
— he can’t help it, he’s thinking “Oh, man, I have that paper due tomorrow .
. .”
“Voskuil! Rebound!”
Or maybe Rob Pelinka is sitting in a business school lecture and suddenly
— boink! — he can’t help it, he’s thinking about that three-point shot he could have made last night against Indiana, if he just put a little more arch on the . . .
“Mr. Pelinka? You with us?”
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