Who Was That Man? Herschel, Impersonating A Bobsledder
LA PLAGNE, France — I rarely go to bobsled races, because I can see the same thing at a bank robbery. Two guys in masks come running out, jump in a vehicle, duck and drive away. Big deal.
But I did attend the Olympic bobsled race Sunday, because certain circumstances demanded it, such as national interest, and the fact that if I didn’t go to bobsled, I had to go to figure skating, in which the ice dancers
were scheduled to do The Original Mandatory Program, which this year is . . . the polka! I am not making this up. Roll out . . . the barrel!
Also, Herschel Walker.
Indians Show Games Hold More Than Gold
MERIBEL, France — There I was, going down the mountain, when I bumped into the entire Indian Olympic team.
Both of them.
“Where’s the rest?” I asked the two skiers.
“Hello, yes,” they said.
“No, no. The rest of your team. What happened? Miss plane? Bus go off cliff?”
“Hello, yes,” they said.
DAN JANSEN WALKS INTO FIVE-RING CIRCUS
ALBERTVILLE, France — Leave the kid alone. That’s what we should do. Let Dan Jansen skate around that ice track today, win a medal, and then celebrate by himself, with himself, for himself. He’s earned that privacy. It would be the nicest thing we...
Behind This Mask Lies The Story Of The Games
MERIBEL, France — Sometimes your moment comes right on schedule, when you are young and ambitious, ready to snap it off with your teeth. And sometimes, you wait for that moment a long and winding time. The big leagues never call. Your life stops in truck driver towns. You begin to wonder, as you pass another birthday looking out the window of a bus, whether perhaps you are meant to be no more than this, some sort of lyric in a bad country song.
Showman Bowman Is Phony Who Should Clean Up His Act
ALBERTVILLE, France — Before I explain why Christopher Bowman is about as real as an Easter egg — and nearly as fragile — let me confess something to you, Michelle:
I’m a man.
And being a man, I will never appreciate figure skating the way women do. Sorry. It’s in the genes. Like hair loss. We’re just different.
WHAT WOMEN WISH: That for one magic moment, they could be like those figure skaters, gliding over the ice as the crowd calls their names.
WHAT MEN WISH: That there was a sequel to “Animal House.”
Tyson Takes Count For Taking Too Much
ALBERTVILLE, France — Let’s put the Olympics on hold for today and talk about the Mike Tyson rape conviction, because even over here, on a snowcapped French mountain, some things are pretty obvious:
LUGE TAUGHT WARNER RARE WAY AROUND
ALBERTVILLE, France — This is an Olympic story, the best kind, the kind that doesn’t end in a medal and really doesn’t have to. It’s the story of a college kid who carried a torch in Lake Placid, N.Y., and, on a dare from a friend, jumped on a...
No Suspense On Ice Or Slopeaustrian Downhiller Steals Show On Day’S Opening Run
VAL d’ISERE, France — Being the first skier on the Olympic downhill is like being the first float in a parade: People wave, but they’re looking over your shoulder. They’re waiting for the good stuff that comes next.
OLYMPICS THE STUFF DREAMS ARE MADE OF
ALBERTVILLE, France — I am retiring from the Olympics.This will be my last Games as a competitor. It’s been a wonderful career, but it’s time to let the kids have a chance.I will never forget my first medal, in 1964, when, at age six, I became the...
