Let me give you a date,” I say to Bo Schembechler, who is sitting in the big chair behind his desk.
He nods OK.
“Oct. 5, 1963,” I say.
Nothing.
“Miami of Ohio beats Western Michigan, 27-19,” I say.
Nothing.
“Well? Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
He looks confused.
“Bo, that was your first win as a head coach.”
“Was it?” he says.
“Your first win, Bo.”
He grins.
“Oh, yeah,” he says.
“And now, it’s time for our mystery guest. Would you enter and sign in please! . . . Dar-ry-l Ro-ger-s (applause) . . . welcome, Mr. Rogers.”
“Hi.”
“OK, panel. You know the rules. You ask questions and try to guess what Mr. Rogers does for a living. Let’s start with you, Kitty.”
“Thank you very much. Mr. Rogers, is your job primarily animal or vegetable?”
“Well . . . we have some of each.”
“Are your animals fierce?”
“On their good days, yes.”
“And the vegetables?”
“That would be our punting team.”
“I beg your pardon?”
CLEVELAND — He was the perfect quarterback. Completed all of his passes. Never got hit. He was cool. He was unrazzled. He came into the locker room after the game and his uniform was still gleaming white, and he took it off and strolled casually in for a shower.
Very cool.
“How many of those have you thrown in your career?” someone asked Brian Brennan of his dramatic big pass, the longest of the Lions-Browns game Sunday.
“Three,” he said, wrapping a towel around himself. “I’m three-for-three. I am 1,000 percent.”
I study the line sheet. I move my pencil toward my pick. I am picking against the Raiders.
“Not so fast,” says a voice.
Who said that?
“Never pick against a team that’s lost three in a row. They’re bound to come back.”
Well . . . all right, I say.
I move the pencil to the Seattle- Washington game. I start to circle Seattle.
“Not so fast,” says the voice.
Who is that?
“Never pick a team that’s won three in a row. They’re bound to lose.”
But you said–
“Trust me.”
ANN ARBOR — They used to go back to their apartment after the games, and friends would come by and the two of them would put on a rap record and shout along with it and do some dancing and laugh until it hurt. It would be easier after a win, but they’d do it after a loss, too. Hell, most losses fade quickly enough.
CLEVELAND — Bernie Kosar came walking back to his locker, grinning like a thief.
“You won’t believe who just called me,” he whispered to fellow quarterback Garry Danielson.
“Who?” said Danielson.
Because I work for a Detroit newspaper, I tend to focus this column on Detroit sports. And in the fall, that means football.
Only lately Detroit football has been depressing. Especially the Lions’ games on Sunday afternoons. Those can be hazardous to your health.
Well, I’d like to be a nice guy and say this latest Lions loss wasn’t so bad. I’d also like to look myself in the mirror this morning.
The truth is, this was pathetic.
Tampa Bay? The Lions lost, 24-20, to Tampa Bay? At home? Please. And they wonder why the Silverdome was half-empty.
“How would you evaluate your team?” someone asked Darryl Rogers after the defeat.
“This isn’t a particularly good time to ask me that question,” Rogers said.
EAST LANSING — Well, now, wasn’t that a nifty little college football game? A bit of this, a bit of that, another this, then another that, then some more of this and a little bit more of . . .
What happened? What didn’t happen? Notre Dame came to Michigan State, and MSU won, 20-15. That is the Reader’s Digest version. The real story is longer than a Howard Cosell commencement address, and about as easy to follow.
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