DIVISION III BACK MAKES HIS MARK ON THE HEISMAN

Even Time, The Enemy, Can’T Dim The Doc’S Star

PHILADELPHIA — There is no joy in watching great athletes grow old, but some people seem to look forward to it anyhow. Their words hover like vultures. “This team’s not what it used to be. . . . This one’s over the hill. . . . That one ought to retire. . . . “

Sooner or later, time makes prophets out of all of them.

DIVISION III BACK MAKES HIS MARK ON THE HEISMAN

Wild Cards Too Weird To Figure

Winter, and our thoughts turn to the NFL playoffs. Who can understand them? The division winners go. They go, don’t they? Yeah. I think . . . wait. Yeah. They go. But then come the dreaded wild-card spots. Four in all. Four wild cards? When we used to play poker as kids, we didn’t have that many wild cards. How are the wild-card berths determined? Is it most victories, or most points, or most head-to-head victories, or most head-to-head victories with points against common opponents within the conference on artificial turf against the spread, or what?

DIVISION III BACK MAKES HIS MARK ON THE HEISMAN

Basketball Classic Came Too Soon In Winter Season

SPRINGFIELD, Mass. — It was too early for a basketball classic. The first snows hadn’t even fallen, much less melted. The days were growing shorter, football ruled the screen and the words “final four” would be interpreted as how many shopping weeks left until Christmas. Yet here was an arena full of people and a court full of network TV cameras waiting for greatness from two college basketball teams, who just happened to have been pre-season ranked No. 1 and 2 by most everybody in the know, you know.

Georgia Tech and Michigan.

DIVISION III BACK MAKES HIS MARK ON THE HEISMAN

Many Reasons To Give Thanks

It’s Thanksgiving. Time to count your blessings. Assuming you are a Lions fan, you may be thinking you have no blessings to count after last Sunday’s embarrassing loss to Tampa Bay.

Not true. There are still many things you can be thankful for. For instance:

1. The Lions do not play Tampa Bay today.

2. The Lions are at home.

3. The football season is almost over.

4. You were born without a tail.

Any of these should give you reason to smile, and say, “Oh, thank you.” If not, how about an abbreviated version of our regular Sunday picks column?

Notre Dame Drops Faust — And Everyone’S A Loser

Notre Dame Drops Faust — And Everyone’S A Loser

I could have written this column Tuesday, the day the ax fell. But it seemed to fit on Thanksgiving, a day the Pilgrims sat down with the Indians. A more proper time, perhaps, for you, me and the rest of the football-watching world to smoke the peace pipe with Gerry Faust.

Faust resigned as Notre Dame football coach on Tuesday. His crime was losing. Nothing more. He had been plucked from the high school ranks five years ago — where he was a big-time winner — and handed the reins to the nation’s most popular college football program.

DIVISION III BACK MAKES HIS MARK ON THE HEISMAN

Run? Jump? Laimbeer Can’T, But He’S Still No. 1

The top rebounder in the NBA cannot dunk a basketball two- handed. His leap is a laugh. In a team footrace, he might finish behind the trainer.

The top rebounder in the NBA never struggled as a child. Never walked the streets. At age 17, he had a new car, a gift from Dad. His only summer job — in a tire warehouse — lasted a week.

“Manual labor,” he groaned. “I hate that.”

DIVISION III BACK MAKES HIS MARK ON THE HEISMAN

You, Too, Can Learn to be an NFL Picker…

Many people have asked me how one becomes an NFL picker.

OK. Maybe not many people.

Some people.

A few.

One, actually.

But every question is important. And so I will answer.

There is no formal university for NFL predicting.

There is, however, one well-known correspondence course. It’s called
“Frankie and Carmine’s School of Calling The Big One And Getting The Sharks Off Your Back, Inc.”

For $49.95 you get your freshman kit: a list of NFL rosters, a Jimmy the Greek poster and a broom to sweep up the hair you pull out.

Notre Dame Drops Faust — And Everyone’S A Loser

This Image Will Endure: Harbaugh Back To Pass

ANN ARBOR — I hope you were watching. I hope you were glued to your TV set and had all your relatives over and you videotaped the whole darn thing. Otherwise, I don’t know if you’d believe me when I tell you how the Michigan Wolverines beat their archest of arch-rivals, Ohio State, to cap their season Saturday:

They passed them to death.

That’s right. Over the middle, down the sidelines, in between defenders, a short touchdown lob and a long touchdown bomb. Three touchdowns by air, 230 aerial yards all told.