* SAN FRANCISCO 20, LIONS 10: If the Lions really want to bug Joe Montana, they should yell across the line: “Hey! Aren’t you the guy who backs up Steve Young? Tough gig, huh?”
* NEW ORLEANS 21, NY JETS 6: The Saints sent their entire starting linebacker corps to the Pro Bowl. The whole set? Is that allowed?
* WASHING TON 28, LA RAIDERS 9: So this is what we’ve come to: The Skins have to pray to make the playoffs. Next thing you know, we’ll have a Democrat in the White House. . . .
* INDIANAPOLIS 20, CINCINNATI 16: . . . We DID?
* PITTSBURGH 10, CLEVELAND 7: The Steelers haven’t scored an offensive touchdown in two weeks. Great way to head into the playoffs.
* KANSAS CITY 21, DENVER 20: Winner makes the playoffs; loser goes home. I have a better idea. Why not let them both go home?
* GREEN BAY 16, MINNESOTA 13: If the Packers make the playoffs with this one, we’ll really have to change the pronunciation of Brett Favre’s last name. I mean, regular season is one thing. But we’re talking national audience now. You know, “Hooked on Phonics” people.
* MIAMI 30, NEW ENGLAND 10: The Pats are in the chase for the No. 1 draft pick. If they get a chance at a game-winning field goal, they might point the kicker backward.
* PHILADELPHIA 13, NY GIANTS 7: Close the door on your way out, Ray.
* DALLAS 20, CHICAGO 12: Mike Ditka once worked for the Cowboys, as an assistant coach. Now he wishes he had that position.
* LA RAMS 78, ATLANTA 73: Two worst defenses in the league.
* SAN DIEGO 14, SEATTLE 0: Did I see Dan Fouts trying to arrange a tryout last week?
* PHOENIX 20, TAMPA BAY 10: Answer: A couple of dozen. Question: How many people show up for this one?
* BUFFALO 13, HOUSTON 12: Last chance, Buffalo. You sure you want to go back to another Super Bowl?
* BEST PICK LAST WEEK: Green Bay 28, Los Angeles Rams 14 (Packers won, 28-13).
* WORST PICK LAST WEEK: Kansas City 23, New York Giants 9 (Giants won, 35-21).
* RECORD LAST WEEK: 9-5. RECORD VS. SPREAD: 8-6
* SEASON RECORD: 135-75.
* SEASON RECORD VS. SPREAD: 95-109-5.