CARDINALS ARRIVE JUST IN TIME FOR WOEFUL GIANTS

* NY GIANTS 20, PHOENIX 17: So Lawrence Taylor says he’ll retire at the end of the season? The way the Giants were playing, I thought he retired last year.

* MIAMI 23, ATLANTA 13: The only undefeated team in the AFC against the only team that has to wonder if its kick returner will get a hit in the baseball playoffs on Sunday.

* KANSAS CITY 21, PHILADELPHIA 14: Yeah. That’s right. I’m picking an upset. Yeah, I saw them on Monday. Sue me.
* HOUSTON 21, CINCINNATI 20: Why is it that Houston never has to change its run ‘n’ shoot, while the Lions monkey with theirs every week?
* SAN FRANCISCO 31, NEW ENGLAND 6: Pluto and the sun. You couldn’t get two teams further apart.
* PITTSBURGH 17, CLEVELAND 10: Question: when football and baseball are both being televised in Pittsburgh, which sport does the average citizen watch? Bowling.
* DALLAS 30, SEATTLE 7: The Seahawks’ quarterback, Dan McGwire, is 6-feet-8. Now, if the Cowboys still had Too Tall Jones, we could finally have someone step up to the line and say to him, “Hey, shorty.”
* BUFFALO 28, LA RAIDERS 10: Is it just me, or does Todd Marinovich look like he’s going to break out in tears at any moment?
* INDIANAPOLIS 26, NY JETS 20: Browning Nagle comes along and boom, it’s
“The Year of the Jets.” Once again, we see that New Yorkers need to take their medication more often.
* NEW ORLEANS 20, LA RAMS 7: Jim Everett might as well have the Saints’ defensive line over for dinner tonight. That way, he’ll be used to their company by Sunday.
* WASHINGTON 28, DENVER 24 (Monday): Last time these two met, it was in the Super Bowl. I remember that game. . . . zzzzz.
* BEST PICK LAST WEEK: Atlanta 26, Green Bay 13. (Atlanta won, 24-10.)
* WORST: Washington 31, Phoenix 14. (Phoenix won, 27-24.)
* RECORD LAST WEEK: 5-7.
* RECORD VS. SPREAD: 5-5-2.
* SEASON RECORD: 39-25.
* SEASON VS. SPREAD: 36-25-3.

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