THE LIVE ALBOM

* My car, World War III, Chuck Long.

* Three things that won’t start on Sunday.
* Oh, I get it. You win the Super Bowl, you get to wear sunglasses. You win the Cy Young award, you get to wear sunglasses. I get it.

* This from Utah: Kelly Tripucka is averaging six points per game, shooting 29 percent.
* Does that make you feel better?
* Face it. The Pistons severely altered their team with the off-season moves, completely changing the way they play the forward positions. If you ask me, the man on the spot is Chuck Daly. Now we’ll see how good a coach he really is.
* Only 47 shopping days till the Rose Bowl.
* Yeah, the Michigan-Ohio State game is pretty big, boss, but if you ask me, I think the Wolverines against Hawaii in Honolulu Dec. 6 is one the entire sports staff should cover, boss. Oh yes, boss. It’s a key game, boss. Very key.
* Boss?
* The New York Mets have often been accused of lacking discipline. Not true. Here you see Tim Teufel, who let a ball go through his legs in the World Series, being forced to eat his knee as punishment.

* By the way, word is that a Free Press sports columnist actually picked the Mets and Red Sox for the World Series before the playoffs, and picked the Mets to win it all in seven games. Hmm.
* I know he’s proven himself, but every time I see Spud Webb I want to buy him an ice cream.
* You wonder where Chuck Long has been all season? I will tell you. He has been at Siena Heights College. See the picture below? Ha, ha. Actually, the guy on the right is a student there named Pat Walsh, who plays on the basketball team. I think. Wait a minute. The one on the right, or the one on the l- . . . Hold it! . . .

* If football were a horserace, the Jets and the 49ers would be gaining down the backstretch.
* Joe Montana’s doctor just tripled his fee.
* And not to be outdone by Bruce Springsteen, the Lions are releasing “The Detroit Lions Live, 1975-1985.” It’s a five- record set: most losses, most fumbles, most interceptions, most disappointment, most boos. Those are the five records set.
* Meanwhile, here’s a new hockey hit from the French Canadian brother group,
“Freres Demers”: Frere Jacques, Frere Jacques,

Left the Blues, left the Blues

Now he’s wearing Red Wings,

Now he’s saying funny things,

Look at him on the ice

And his glasses stay on.

* Well, it loses something in the translation.
* Wednesday night, in Boston Garden, Mr. Sam Vincent, of the Boston Celtics, stole the ball from Mr. Scott Skiles, of the Milwaukee Bucks. Everybody grows up sooner or later, huh?
* It is too damn cold out. There, I said it.
* I give up. What is the proper athletic hairstyle? Is it the mohawk by Brian Bosworth, the bald look by Darryl Strawberry or the new rage, worn by Beldar, a forward with the LA Clippers? CUTLINES
“Shades” McMahon
“Shades” Clemens Long…
…or Long Buzzhead Skinhead
…Conehead?

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