* LIONS 19, BUCCANEERS 10: The Bucs ain’t the Bears.
* WASHINGTON 20, ATLANTA 10: Sorry, Falcons. That “Hail Mary” stuff only works once every 30 years.
* BUFFALO 38, GREEN BAY 3: This is the game the Packers play in Milwaukee. I’m sure Milwaukee is truly thrilled.
* HOUSTON 27, DALLAS 20: The battle for Texas. Winner gets a flatbed truck, a gun rack, and two dogs in the back.
* NY JETS 23, INDIANAPOLIS 6: I bet Sports Illustrated is real proud of putting Eric Dickerson on its cover not too long ago, over the headline “A HAPPY CAMPER.”
* SEATTLE 24, SAN DIEGO 10: What camp was that, exactly?
* CLEVELAND 14, PHILADELPHIA 10: Does Jim McMahon sleep in those sunglasses or what?
* NEW ORLEANS 23, SAN FRANCISCO 14: I bet Steve Young is sitting somewhere right now going, “Great, I wait nine years to be starting quarterback and now this. Great. Just bleeping great . . . ”
* PITTSBURGH 20, CINCINNATI 14: Whoa. Wait a minute. Just because the Bengals win one lousy game, suddenly they’re favored this week? Nuh-uh. We can’t have that.
* KANSAS CITY 21, LA RAMS 12: I bet Jim Everett has a calendar on his wall with big red X’s all over it.
* DENVER 21, LA RAIDERS 20: A squeaker in ski-ville.
* NY GIANTS 17, PHOENIX 14: After losing to the Eagles on Monday night, Lawrence Taylor called his entire team and all the coaches “quitters.” I don’t want to mess with that.
* MIAMI 9, NEW ENGLAND 7: It’s about time for Dan Marino to give out those Isotoner gloves again. In Miami, they’ll put them over their eyes.
* (MONDAY NIGHT) CHICAGO 20 1/2, MINNESOTA 20: The Bears win by the narrowest margins, don’t they?
* RECORD LAST WEEK: 9-3.
* RECORD VS. SPREAD: 7-5.
* SEASON RECORD: 92-35.
* SEASON VS. SPREAD: 61-61-5.
* BEST PICK LAST WEEK: Buffalo 23, New England 14 (Bills won, 22-17).
* WORST PICK LAST WEEK: NY Giants 28, Philadelphia 20 (Eagles won, 30-7).