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GLASSY SUPER BOWL FOR YOU BOTTLENECKS

by | Jan 13, 1989 | Detroit Free Press | 0 comments

THE LIVE ALBOM:

* Well, I might as well get my Super Bowl prediction in right now. The final score will be 23-20.

* That’s Bud Light 23, regular Bud 20.
* Can you believe supposedly intelligent human beings will spend millions for an animated game between beer bottles? During commercials?
* The saddest part is, it will probably be better than San Francisco-Cincinnati.
* Our luck, the Lions will draft a long neck.
* I knew I’d seen Dick Versace’s hair before.
* No, I do not have all the answers to the Pistons’ problems. I do know five words that would help: Give-the-ball-to-Dantley.

* Why isn’t he shooting more? And don’t tell me he’s gun- shy because he got whacked in the mouth. AD’s been whacked in worse places.
* Actually, the gun-shy ones are the referees who suddenly refuse to call fouls on AD’s defenders. Hey. Refs. What gives? Don’t penalize a guy because he’s learned to score within the rules.

* Quick. Name three places where you can read “War and Peace” in its entirety: 1) the library; 2) state prison; 3) the Palace parking lot.
* Poor Eddie (the Eagle) Edwards. He finally had that big ski jump accident. When asked in the hospital of his plans, he said, “I guess I’ll go back to being Woody (the Eagle) Allen, and do Bananas II.”
* Listen. I have a better way for Dave Winfield and George Steinbrenner to wage a media war: Why don’t they sail off to some island and slap each other with rolled-up newspapers?
* And another thing: If we’re going to start talking baseball this early in the year — Tigers party, etc. — then, darn it, I want the weather to be warmer.
* Deion Sanders gets arrested but plays in the Sugar Bowl. Hart Lee Dykes squeals on four football programs, then plays in the Hula Bowl. Why do I get the feeling we’re not all paying the piper here?
* Speaking of which, the arrest of Lion Pete Mandley on a charge of domestic violence toward his wife should not be buried in the back pages. This is a tragic problem in America, and we overlooked it enough in the Mike Tyson-Robin Givens fiasco.
* So Jacques Demers may enter the restaurant business, with a Southfield eat & drink called Jacques Demers’ Place. Or, for the French food lover, Place du Jacques. I hear it will serve a lovely Coquille St. Jacques. And a seafood dish called Jacques Cousteau. And many celebrities will attend, including Jacques Morris, Jacques Nicholson and Pat SaJacques.
* The only problem is, when they say “Check, please,” the waitress slams them into the wall.
* Don’t look now, but the Bengals may be working on a dance video, a la the Chicago Bears. Here is a possible first verse: WE ARE THE BENGALS’ SHUFFLIN’ CREW ICKEY ICKEY SHAKE, WE DO IT FOR YOU WE’LL PLAY THE GAME, TILL HALF-PAST TEN THEN TURN INTO BEER BOTTLES AND DO IT AGAIN. . . . SHAKE!
* Speaking of the Super Bowl, I have been invited to a Miami party, which promises a delicious menu, “plus Mr. Spuds MacKenzie.”
* If only this were Korea: Spuds could be the menu.
* Notre Dame head coach Lou Holtz is constantly poking fun at his humble roots. You would too, if, prior to your coaching career, you played Gilbert in
“Revenge Of The Nerds.” Mitch Albom’s sports-talk show, “The Sunday Sports Albom,” airs Sunday from 9 to 11 p.m. on WLLZ 98.7-FM. Guests include Dick Vitale, Dan Dierdorf and Jerry Green. CUTLINE Notre … Nerd? Wolfgang Amadeus … Versace? Eddie as Eddie … Eddie as Woody

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Mitch Albom writes about running an orphanage in impoverished Port-au-Prince, Haiti, his kids, their hardships, laughs and challenges, and the life lessons he’s learned there every day.

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