HAVEN’T TIGERS DONE ENOUGH FOR CECIL?

So Cecil Fielder wants to be a Tiger again. Quick, hide the buffet table.

I remember when Detroit was the only team to offer the Japan-based Fielder a job. He happily took it. And later, when the Tigers offered him the biggest contract in their history, he happily took that. And later, when he said he wanted out, the Tigers granted that wish, too, sending him to the New York Yankees, where he won a World Series. And now that he has been cast adrift by other teams, he wants to make nice and come back here?

Seems to me the Tigers have been plenty nice to Cecil already.

Speaking of baseball, the Tigers were interested in signing pitcher Todd Stottlemyre. I would have made the deal only if he gave up the acting career, under his stage name, Val Kilmer.

Michigan State might have a great basketball team, but I’m sorry, that’s not the same Mateen Cleaves I saw last year.

I don’t know if it’s nagging injuries or the time away, but he’s yet to look as comfortable out there as he should.

By the way, hats off to Tom Izzo for scheduling Duke and Connecticut in the same week. You want to beat the best in March, you can’t be afraid of trying it in December.

Albert Belle. Rude. Aloof. Insulting. Five years, $65 million. Something is really wrong with our values system in this country.

Here’s what I don’t get with this impeachment thing: Aren’t you supposed to look at what the guy’s done and then decide to get rid of him, not the other way around?

The Lions play the Jaguars this weekend, and I guess we should be worried. But to me, one of the Jags’ hardest hitters, Bryce Paup, is nothing more than a bad Eric Hipple impersonator.

For a team that supposedly doesn’t care, that game Wednesday sure looked like it mattered to the Colorado Avalanche.

And I’m sorry. But there’s still not anyone on Dallas or Phoenix that can boil Detroit blood the way Claude Lemieux and Patrick Roy do.

For the sake of his family, all nice people, I’m happy Chris Webber was found not guilty of those marijuana and assault charges. Then again, Chris told the jury the marijuana residue in his car must have belonged to a friend. And over the summer, he told Puerto Rico police that the marijuana in his bag belonged to someone else.

Let’s be nice and say maybe Chris shouldn’t lend his stuff out quite so often.

Besides, the jury couldn’t undo his harshest sentence: Webber is still a Sacramento King.

If there’s anyone out there who hasn’t filed a restraining order against Dominique Moceanu’s father, please raise your hand.

My drop-dead date for an NBA labor agreement: Dec. 14.

And if it happens, expect the hurried and shortened season to be the most injury-prone ever.

These players aren’t race cars. You don’t just turn the ignition and go.

The photo in USA Today of ex-Wings fighter Stu Grimson, holding a flower, under the headline “Tender Tough Guys,” is definitely at the top of my “Things I Never Thought I’d See” list.

So is a bowl game on Jan. 4.

I know the Green Bay Packers are trying to rediscover their old magic, but I think tight end Mark Chmura has taken this ’50s revival/John Travolta thing a little too far.

To leave a message for Mitch Albom, call1-313-223-4581 or E-mail albom@freepress.com

Mitch will sign copies of “Tuesdays With Morrie” and his other books from 7-8 tonight at Borders in Ann Arbor, 7-8 p.m. Wednesday at Barnes & Noble in Troy, 7:30-8:30 p.m. next Thursday at Borders in Dearborn, and 2-3 p.m. Dec. 12 at Barnes & Noble in Toledo.

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