* LIONS 21, GREEN BAY 20: I took a lot of heat for saying the Lions would at least cover the spread last week. As it turned out, all they covered was their eyes. Wouldn’t you, if you lost by 45 points? So I write that off to Washington, to Opening Day jitters, to bad sushi the night before, whatever. I pick them to win this week, and if they lose, at home, against the Green Bay Packers, I promise, right here, I am not picking them again this year.

* ATLANTA 23, MINNESOTA 20: The Vikings are a wonderful team except for this one teensy-weensy problem: They can’t win when they play outdoors. Other than that, everything’s just great.

* CHICAGO 24, TAMPA BAY 10: Did you see where Jerry Ball said he’d offered
$100,000 of his own salary to help Detroit sign Dexter Manley?
* SEATTLE 21, NY JETS 20: Hey, Jerry. How much for Brian Bosworth? He’s not busy.
* CLEVELAND 18, NEW ENGLAND 17: I wouldn’t watch if you hung me from a rope and spun me.
* MIAMI 23, INDIANAPOLIS 7: After the Colts lost to the Patriots last week, I officially canceled my Eric Dickerson fan club membership.
* KANSAS CITY 16, NEW ORLEANS 7: Not that I had ever paid my dues or anything.
* PHOENIX 24, PHILADELPHIA 21: Now that Jim McMahon is the starter for the Eagles, it’s just a matter of time before the whole team is wearing headbands and eating tacos.
* NY GIANTS 34, LA RAMS 10: Obviously, John Robinson’s California boys have decided that football is, you know, like, way too stressful.
* HOUSTON 31, CINCINNATI 28: Last time Warren Moon went to Cincinnati, he broke his thumb. This time, he sticks it in their eye.
* BUFFALO 24, PITTSBURGH 16: I figure Thurman Thomas sings the national anthem this time. He has already done everything else.
* LA RAIDERS 19, DENVER 17: John Elway now calls his own plays. His favorite one is “Protect me left, protect me right, on two, ready, break!”
* SAN FRANCISCO 28, SAN DIEGO 10: Once this was Fouts vs. Montana. Now its Friesz vs. Young. Are we getting old, or what?
* WASHINGTON 23, DALLAS 20 (Monday night): That wasn’t just the Lions stinking up the joint last Sunday. The Redskins are tough.
* RECORD LAST WEEK: 8-6
* RECORD VS. SPREAD: 7-7.
* BEST PICK LAST WEEK: Dallas 28, Cleveland 20 (Dallas won, 26-14).
* WORST PICK LAST WEEK: Cincinnati 28, Denver 24 (Denver won, 45-14).

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