by | Nov 21, 2008 | Detroit Free Press | 0 comments

If Herschel Walker, whose talents still did not lead to a single victory for the Dallas Cowboys this season, was worth 12 players, a new house, a Mercedes and an extra $1.5 million cash above his salary, just think what other NFL stars might fetch:

* Eric Dickerson: 15 players, three condominiums, $2 million cash and a lifetime supply of goggles.

* Randall Cunningham: 23 players, apartment complex, $3 million and a Coca-Cola bottling plant.
* Joe Montana: 45 players, most of Bloomfield Hills, $8 million and General Motors.

And now, for this week’s picks:
* MINNESOTA 23, DETROIT 20: Here is what I want to know about Herschel’s new Mercedes: Did it come with a full tank of gas?
* BUFFALO 24, NY JETS 7: Just hold the Jets under Niagara Falls for a while. They’ll wake up.
* CINCINNATI 20, INDIANAPOLIS 10: Did you hear Dickerson’s comments on TV last week: “Why should a woman get half my money in a divorce? She never took a hit, she never played with pain, she never made a tackle.” That’s right, ladies. And you can reach Eric at 1-517-238. . . .
* HOUSTON 27, PITTSBURGH 12: Was that really the Oilers last week, beating the Bears — on the road?
* KANSAS CITY 17, DALLAS 12: I see Steve Pelluer throwing a touchdown pass for KC. I see Steve Pelluer smiling. I see Jimmy Johnson saying, “Why can’t we get that guy on our team?”
* LA RAMS 29, NEW ORLEANS 16: No Saints in Los Angeles. Not that I’ve ever met.
* MIAMI 30, GREEN BAY 20: Let’s see. Dan Marino. 53 players, the island of Jamaica, $13 million, and a lifetime supply of Isotoner gloves.
* NY GIANTS 23, SAN DIEGO 13: Let’s see. Jim McMahon. Hmm. I’m not sure what he’s worth anymore.
* PHOENIX 21, ATLANTA 17: Maybe two players and a quarter pounder with cheese?
* PHILADELPHIA 26, LA RAIDERS 17: Bo knows Reggie White. At least he will after today.
* SAN FRANCISCO 28, NEW ENGLAND 10: Steve Grogan is starting at quarterback? What is he, 57 years old?
* DENVER 21, SEATTLE 14: I’m very happy for the Broncos’ success this season.

But if they go to the Super Bowl again, I’m not bothering to show up.
* WASHINGTON 24, TAMPA BAY 20: Igwebuike. Go ahead. Say it 10 times fast. Igwebuike. I dare you.
* CLEVELAND 20, CHICAGO 19 (Monday night): Well. Mike Ditka said they weren’t capable of winning another game.
* RECORD VS. SPREAD: 3-10-1.
* SEASON VS. SPREAD: 36-44-4.
* BEST PICK LAST WEEK: New Orleans 28, New York Jets 17. Saints won, 29-14.
* WORST PICK LAST WEEK: Cincinnati 34, Miami 24. Dolphins won, 20-13.


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Mitch Albom writes about running an orphanage in impoverished Port-au-Prince, Haiti, his kids, their hardships, laughs and challenges, and the life lessons he’s learned there every day.

🛍 For just $2.99/mo or $29.99/year, you get access to every weekly issue

🎁 All proceeds will be donated to help the daily operations of the orphanage, Have Faith Haiti Mission

🗞 Paid subscribers also get to hear directly from the kids through the “Have Faith Haiti Chronicles.” It’s a monthly/quarterly-ish newsletter written and published by students in a media and journalism class.


Subscribe for bonus content and giveaways!