HEY, LIONS DIDN’T PULL THE SWITCH

* Detroit 23, Rams 17: Something feels funny. . . . I can’t put my finger on
. . . Oh! I know! It’s been seven days and no quarterback change. What’s going on?

* Buffalo 20, Jets 16: Once again, another team lets America down in the quest to keep Buffalo out of the Super Bowl.

* Houston 20, Cincinnati 7: The trading deadline came and went, and Warren Moon still has his house. I don’t think he’s gonna repave the driveway, however.
* Pittsburgh 19, Cleveland 14: Now that Bernie Kosar is not playing, he has reapplied for his old job, playing Big Bird on Sesame Street.
* New Orleans 28, Atlanta 14: Deion Sanders is back, not that the New Orleans linebackers care.
* Seattle 20, New England 3: How bad is this game? Both teams lost to the Lions!
* San Francisco 28, Phoenix 19: Next time I see Steve Beuerlein, I’m gonna ask him this: Yo, pal, what’s with all those vowels in your last name?
* Green Bay 9, Tampa Bay 0: A rectal exam would be more enjoyable than watching this game.
* Miami 19, Indianapolis 14: Jeff George comes trotting into the huddle, slaps his hands and says, “Let’s go!” The other guys say, “Uh, do we know you?”
* Chicago 10, Minnesota 3 (Monday night): Afterward, Richard Dent grabs Jim McMahon’s head band, eats it, swallows it and says, “You know, Jim, I never liked you.”
* Best pick last week: Kansas City 17, San Diego 12 (Chiefs won, 17-14).
* Worst pick last week: New Orleans 24, Pittsburgh 17 (Steelers won, 37-14).
* Record last week: 6-3.
* Record vs. spread: 3-6.
* Season record: 53-27.
* Season vs. spread: 35-44-1.

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