* BUCCANEERS 26, LIONS 21: And you know how much it hurts me to pick Tampa Bay to win anything.
* CHICAGO 17, GREEN BAY 16: Have you noticed that Mike Ditka’s press conferences are a lot more interesting than his team?
* CLEVELAND 15, NEW ENGLAND 7: Oooh. Here’s one you won’t want to miss.
* DALLAS 20, LA RAIDERS 12: Sorry, I still think Todd Marinovich is a cross between Alfred E. Neuman and Archie.
* HOUSTON 35, CINCINNATI 14: Memo from David Shula: “Dear Dad . . . HELP!”
* KANSAS CITY 24, PITTSBURGH 10: When Lonnie Smith hit that home run in Game 5, I swear I heard Pittsburgh Pirates fans going, “Uh-huh. See? What’d I tell you?”
* MIAMI 28, INDIANAPOLIS 10: The winningest team in football against, well, the Colts.
* NY GIANTS 19, SEATTLE 6: The Seahawks score about as often as the Blue Jays.
* PHILADELPHIA 28, PHOENIX 14: The battle of the PH. A very balanced game.
* DENVER 21, SAN DIEGO 20: If this game is on TV, I’m not turning it on until the last two minutes, because John Elway won’t even get started until then.
* WASHINGTON 27, MINNESOTA 20: Sorry, Vikings, but you haven’t really played anyone yet. And you still lost to the Lions.
* BUFFALO 30, NY JETS 17 (Monday night): Winner gets the state of New York for a week. Loser gets it for a year.
* BEST PICK LAST WEEK: Cleveland 17, Green Bay 6 (Cleveland won, 13-7).
* WORST PICK LAST WEEK: NY Giants 24, LA Rams 14 (Rams won, 38-17).
* RECORD LAST WEEK: 8-5.
* RECORD VS. SPREAD: 3-10.
* SEASON RECORD: 56-35.
* SEASON VS. SPREAD: 42-43-3.