* LIONS 28, MINNESOTA 14: OK. I’m on the Lions’ bandwagon. And I’ll tell you why. The Lions simplified their defense; they got better. Rodney Peete barely practices anymore; he has gotten better. I like this philosophy. Pretty soon, they’ll just show up on Sundays and win the Super Bowl.
* WASHINGTON 24, CHICAGO 23: I hate to say it, but Michael Jordan is so overexposed in Chi-town, it makes me wish Jim McMahon were back.
* PHILADELPHIA 9, TAMPA BAY 3: Speaking of McMahon . . . who’s quarterbacking the Eagles now, Norm Snead?
* DALLAS 21, GREEN BAY 14: The Pack is backward.
* HOUSTON 34, DENVER 31: I want a pepperoni pizza for every pass thrown in this one.
* PITTSBURGH 17, INDIANAPOLIS 6: I wouldn’t watch this game if you stuck me on a spit and barbecued me.
* MIAMI 21, NEW ENGLAND 18: Are you starting to get the feeling that the Lions’ victory over the Dolphins wasn’t as impressive as we thought?
* SEATTLE 17, CINCINNATI 14: The Ickey Shuffle has turned into the Funeral March.
* CLEVELAND 13, NY JETS 10: How come nobody asks Michael Dean Perry how much he eats?
* NY GIANTS 23, PHOENIX 20: Sooner or later, New Yorkers will demand Phil Simms. And once they get him, they’ll start asking for Bill Parcells.
* LA RAIDERS 20, SAN DIEGO 7: Maybe they should rename the team: Chargers to Crawlers.
* KANSAS CITY 20, BUFFALO 19 (Monday night): Personally, I think these Monday night games are rigged to make us all stay up as late as possible.
* RECORD LAST WEEK: 10-2.
* RECORD VS. SPREAD: 6-6.
* SEASON RECORD: 50-18.
* SEASON VS. SPREAD: 30-35-3.
* BEST PICK LAST WEEK: Phoenix 20, New England 13 (Cardinals won, 24-10).
* WORST PICK LAST WEEK: Detroit 21, Tampa Bay 20 (Lions won, 31-3).