* Chicago 10, Lions 6: The Lions gave lots of money this week to Barry Sanders, who’s injured, and Bennie Blades, who’s injured. I’d feel a lot better if they gave it to someone who’ll be playing tomorrow.
* San Francisco 27, Houston 20: Oops! The 49ers just scored another touchdown at the Silverdome.
* New Orleans 14, Philadelphia 13: Things We Won’t See Next Year or the Year After: Jim Mora, hosting Def Comedy Jam.
* Green Bay 20, LA Raiders 13: Weren’t the Packers supposed to have won the division by now?
* Buffalo 30, NY Jets 10: The Bills now wear shirts that read “Let’s go back to the Super Bowl and really (bleep) them off.” Hey, Bills. It’s working.
* Atlanta 20, Cincinnati 6: That’s enough winning for now, Bengals.
* Indianapolis 12, New England 9: I figure after earning their third victory of the season, the Patriots have been partying all week.
* Dallas 24, Washington 10: Remember when this was a marquee game? Remember leisure suits?
* Cleveland 19, LA Rams 10: It’s official. More Southern Californians now visit Knott’s Berry Farm than watch the Rams.
* Pittsburgh 20, Seattle 10: Why? Why not?
* Denver 20, Tampa Bay 6: I met an actual Buccaneers fan the other day. Really. He said, “I’m a Bucs fan.” Of course, he also said, “I love the way Doug Williams plays quarterback.”
* NY Giants 17, Phoenix 9: I know, it’s a perfect upset. Too perfect. I get suspicious.
* Kansas City 19, Minnesota 14: Joe Montana grabs Jim McMahon and says, “You know, those headbands, are they, like, for medical reasons?”
* Miami 20, San Diego 17 (Monday night): One question: If he’s Junior Seau, how big is Senior?
* Best pick last week: New York Giants 20, New Orleans 14 (Giants won, 24-14).
* Worst pick last week: San Francisco 26, Lions 20 (49ers won, 55-17).
* Record last week: 9-5.
* Record vs. spread: 7-7.
* Season record: 128-68.
* Season vs. spread: 94-97-5.
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