IT’S CLEAR WHAT WE SEE IN WATERS

I guess we ought to talk about this Andre Waters guy, since everybody else is. Dan Dierdorf of “Monday Night Football” pretty much nailed the Philadelphia safety to the wall, calling him a “cheap-shot artist” and saying there’s “no place for that kind of stuff in the NFL.” The league, meanwhile, fined Waters $10,000 for cheap-shot tackles. All around the NFL, Waters is known as the kind of guy who would shake your hand and slam his knee into your groin.

And Waters’ reaction to all of this? He wants all future Eagles games blacked out on TV because “people only know what they see on TV.”

Now. Personally, I wouldn’t mind seeing all Eagles games blacked out, since the Eagles stink, and Buddy Ryan — how can I say this politely? — always looks like he’s about to drool.

But blaming TV for the things Waters does is like blaming Kodak for X-rated movies. It wasn’t TV that sent Waters flying into that guy with his elbow aimed for his face. It wasn’t TV that made Waters slam a guy when he was already out of bounds.

Next time Waters complains, in addition to fining him $10,000, the league should make him sit in a room for 10 hours watching Eagles games. He’s right. Those games should be blacked out. At least all the ones in which he plays.

And now, this week’s picks:
* Lions 20, Saints 19: You can forget a lot during a week off. I’m hoping the Lions forgot how to lose.
* Green Bay 20, Minnesota 16: Both these teams had the week off, too. And nobody noticed.
* Indianapolis 20, Miami 13: I smell an upset here.
* Dallas 19, Philadelphia 16: I smell something here, too. I think it’s Andre Waters.
* Cincinnati 35, Atlanta 30: Jerry Glanville leaves tickets at the gate for Buster Douglas, since Buster’s not real busy anymore.
* Chicago 28, Phoenix 12: Although the Bears aren’t used to weather where you don’t need earmuffs.
* San Diego 21, Tampa Bay 7: No Vinny, no winny.
* Houston 38, NY Jets 21: Is it just me, or has nobody seen Richard Todd in the last 10 years?
* San Francisco 24, Cleveland 17: To really make this fair, they should let Bernie Kosar play behind the 49ers’ line, and make Joe Montana stand behind the Browns’.
* Buffalo 23, New England 20: Steve Grogan starts for the Pats. He’s been out the last few weeks — collecting Medicare.
* NY Giants 27, Washington 17: For the second time in three weeks, the Giants will push the Redskins another game back.
* Pittsburgh 28, LA Rams 24 (Monday night): Can we go back and erase our Super Bowl predictions for the Rams, please? This is getting embarrassing.
* Record last week: 9-2.
* Record vs. spread: 8-3.
* Record for season: 61-28.
* Season vs. spread: 46-42-1.
* Best pick last week: Buffalo 28, NY Jets 23 (Bills won, 30-27).
* Worst pick last week: Kansas City 25, Seattle 20 (Seahawks won, 19-7).

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