I am making these picks from the press box at the World Series. Therefore, before I get hit in the head with a foul ball — or, in the case of this World Series, an Oakland home run — let me dispense with the small tal–
Plunk!
* GREEN BAY 20, DETROIT 17: Wasn’t it last year in Green Bay that Wayne Fontes got his first win as Lions coach? “A new era begins!” they said. Um-hmm.
* CLEVELAND 16, HOUSTON 12: These teams like each other as much as Zsa Zsa likes traffic cops.
* NEW ORLEANS 34, ATLANTA 10: The Saints finally wake up. Unfortunately, they’ve already slept through half the season.
* CHICAGO 21, LA RAMS 17: Ditka lied.
* BUFFALO 23, MIAMI 21: The last time Dan Marino was sacked, George Bush was vice president. And I’m not making this up.
* INDIANAPOLIS 14, NEW ENGLAND 13: Doug Flutie won the Heisman Trophy. Eric Dickerson didn’t come close. Go figure.
* DALLAS 20, PHOENIX 18: Although, if it keeps Jimmy Johnson and his gator-head owner winless, I’ll be happy to be wrong.
* CINCINNATI 36, TAMPA BAY 24: Got change for a Buc?
* SAN FRANCISCO 88, NY JETS 3: Why can’t the Lions play the Jets? It might be a close game.
* LA RAIDERS 20, WASHINGTON 14: Poor Jay Schroeder. He’s now been benched by both these teams.
* DENVER 54, PHILADELPHIA 53: Passing yards: 3,472. Rushing yards: 0.
* SEATTLE 22, SAN DIEGO 13: Who’s the new Chargers quarterback? Billy Joe Tolliver? Didn’t he sing “Cherry Hill Park”?
* PITTSBURGH 13, KANSAS CITY 9: Who cares?
* NY GIANTS 24, MINNESOTA 20 (Monday night): The Vikings have never played in the Meadowlands. Never. Just don’t breathe the air, fellas.
* RECORD LAST WEEK: 12-2.
* RECORD VS. SPREAD: 9-5.
* SEASON RECORD: 65-33.
* SEASON RECORD VS. SPREAD: 45-49-4.
* BEST PICK LAST WEEK: NY Giants 23, San Diego 13. Giants won, 20-13.
* WORST PICK LAST WEEK: LA Rams 29, New Orleans 16. Saints won, 40-21.
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