* Detroit 21, Chicago 20: Now look. If Erik Kramer has a good game, the first person around here who asks”Why can’t we get a quarterback like that?” I slap.
* Indianapolis 24, Washington 6: Let me get this straight. The Skins are paying millions to Heath Shuler, hundreds of thousands to John Friesz, and they’re starting a guy named Gus Frerotte at quarterback? Gus Frerotte?
* Kansas City 24, Seattle 21: Rick Mirer looks like Joe Montana, plays like Montana, and went to Montana’s college. When Joe shows up Sunday and finds Rick dressing at his locker, you know there’s something a little weird here.
* Cleveland 26, Cincinnati 10: Battle of Ohio. Loser gets Akron.
* Minnesota 13, Green Bay 10: Trust me on this one.
* NY Giants 19, Pittsburgh 10: The Steelers’ new running back is Bam Morris. That’s right. Bam. And the Steelers describe his running style as “straight ahead.” Gee, what a shock.
* LA Rams 20, New Orleans 14: Jim Everett gets to throw against his old team. Then again, his old team gets to hit Jim Everett. I like their odds better.
* Atlanta 36, LA Raiders 34: I’m just waiting for Jerry Ball to get in an argument with Art Shell on the sidelines. Shell might think twice before ripping off the headphones in that one.
* Dallas 38, Arizona 3: Didn’t we just do this game?
* San Diego 28, Denver 10: That hissing sound was Joe Montana letting the last of the air out of the Broncos.
* San Francisco 23, Tampa Bay 14: Sam Wyche said this week, “We’re not stupid, we just play that way sometimes.” Uh-huh. And Wyche isn’t an overrated coach, he just . . .
* Philadelphia 28, Houston 10 (Monday night): The Oilers can’t even look at the moon anymore without thinking Warren.
* Best pick last week: LA Rams 14, NY Giants 10 (Rams won, 17-10).
* Worst pick last week: Atlanta 28, San Francisco 24 (49ers won, 42-3).
* Record last week: 8-3.
* Last week vs. spread: 4-7.
* Season record: 50-40.
* Season vs. spread: 45-43-2.