THE LIVE ALBOM

* I don’t know about you. But watching Isiah kiss Kevin (I’m Not Magic) Johnson doesn’t do it for me.

* In other words, you bet I’ll miss the Lakers come the finals. The Pistons have no history with the other contenders. And history makes a great rivalry.
* Besides, you think Nicholson goes to Portland Memorial Coliseum?
* Speaking of the Lakers, they now return to their off-season jobs, including Vlade Divac, who resumes his comedy shtick under his stage name, Yakov Smirnoff. Arr! Arr! Arr!

Vlade as Yakov Vlade as Vlade
* I always thought Dave Winfield was a little classier than this. First he moans that his “rights” were violated by the trade to California. Then, as soon as the Angels stick $9.1 million in his face, it’s “Hi, guys, what time does the bus leave?” Once again, behind every principle is a price tag.
* Also, I think the Angels are nuts. At 38, Winfield is sledding downhill.
* MEMO TO: KENNY WALKER. The hair thing? Sorry. Bart Simpson does it better. High-Top Kenny Higher-Top Bart
* By the way, let’s have a round of applause for the brilliant New York Post, which last week insisted that K.C. Jones would be the new coach of the Pistons. Four days later, Jones was selected coach of Seattle. They call that a “scoop” in the Big Apple. Just what is it they’re scooping?
* And as long as we’re on the media, congratulations to USA Today and The National. You’ve actually invented a baseball box score that takes longer to read than the game story.
* The job Larry Brown did with the Spurs is remarkable. Especially since night after night, after the games, he had to fly to New York to play Paul Shaffer on “Late Night With David Letterman.” Hit it, Larry! Hit it . . . Larry?
* I like Jimmy Devellano, always have, but the record shows he’s been here eight years and the Wings have finished over .500 once. I’m not saying he should be moved, but why are folks surprised at the idea? In Calgary, they won the Stanley Cup last year, and this year, they fired the coach.
* And, unlike Detroit, Calgary made the playoffs.
* The fact is, we’ve gotten used to the Ilitch “family” way of doing things, and thus don’t expect a major shake-up. My guess: Devellano and Jacques Demers get one more year before real panic sets in.
* Now that the Knicks have been eliminated, Kiki Vandeweghe can get back to comics. Gil Thorp just wasn’t the same without him.

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