Oh, boy. This is the week of the Bounty Bowl. The word is the Cowboys this time have put a bounty on Buddy Ryan’s head. Five dollars to the first guy who can find it.
And now, this week’s picks. . . .
* CHICAGO 19, DETROIT 17: I know the Lions are better. I know the Bears are worse. But let’s not get carried away here.
* PHILADELPHIA 20, DALLAS 10: The Eagles put a bounty on Jimmy Johnson’s head
— but can’t find it underneath all that hair spray.
* MINNESOTA 28, ATLANTA 6: The Vikings put a bounty on the Falcons’ water boy, who is probably the best athlete on the team.
* CINCINNATI 41, SEATTLE 10: The Bengals put a bounty on Brian Bosworth, but they can’t find him. In fact, no one is sure if he ever really existed.
* MIAMI 34, NEW ENGLAND 31: Late in the game, Doug Flutie runs onto the Orange Bowl field and throws a beautiful 60-yard Hail Mary pass. Unfortunately, his teammates are in Joe Robbie Stadium.
* PITTSBURGH 21, NY JETS 20: This game is about as appealing as Leonard-Duran IV.
* WASHINGTON 20, SAN DIEGO 14: San Diego makes a late rally, after the Padres send over six of the 53 baseball players they signed this week.
* CLEVELAND 23, INDIANAPOLIS 14: Eric Dickerson recently told a magazine he doesn’t feel like playing football much longer. Sure. He’d rather pick up a bat, swing a few times and get signed by San Diego for three years, $6.75 million.
* DENVER 21, NY GIANTS 20: The Broncos haven’t forgotten the Giants’ Gatorade party in Super Bowl XXI.
* KANSAS CITY 17, GREEN BAY 14: Remember when these two teams were in Super Bowl I? And . . . gadzooks! They could be there again.
* BUFFALO 24, NEW ORLEANS 12: After the way they played Monday night, the Bills should be ashamed to go back to Buffalo. And that’s saying something.
* HOUSTON 23, TAMPA BAY 10: Ah, to be back in the House of Pain.
* LA RAIDERS 24, PHOENIX 9: Why? Why not?
* LA RAMS 23, SAN FRANCISCO 20: They call him Flipper, Flipper, faster than lightning. . . .
* RECORD LAST WEEK: 9-5.
* RECORD VS. SPREAD: 7-7.
* SEASON RECORD: 121-61.
* SEASON VS. SPREAD: 86-91-5.
* BEST PICK LAST WEEK: Philadelphia 27, NY Giants 24. Eagles won, 24-17.
* WORST PICK LAST WEEK: New Orleans 24, Detroit 16. Lions won, 21-14.