* LIONS 27, CINCINNATI 20: I say this under the theory that just when you stop expecting the Lions to win a single game, they do.
* MIAMI 17, HOUSTON 10: Moonless. Winless.
* BUFFALO 35, ATLANTA 12: Forget the game. I want to see if Jerry Glanville gets in another fight — with one of his own players. He took on his quarterback last week. Maybe Sunday, he works his way up to the defense.
* PHILADELPHIA 16, NY GIANTS 10: But I’d like a nickel for every glance Randall Cunningham makes toward the bench and Jim McMahon.
* MINNESOTA 14, CLEVELAND 13: The Vikings are one of the best teams in football this year — and I bet you nine out of 10 fans can’t name three guys on their team.
* PITTSBURGH 24, INDIANAPOLIS 14: Jack Trudeau at one quarterback, Bubby Brister at the other. Does this mean fans get a 50 percent discount on their tickets?
* CHICAGO 28, GREEN BAY 21: I may miss the game, but I’ll be sure to tune in for Mike Ditka’s press conference. I’m betting this is the week he spontaneously combusts.
* LA RAIDERS 9, DENVER 6: With John Elway out and Jay Schroeder in, nobody’s scoring a touchdown.
* SAN FRANCISCO 30, LA RAMS 26: The battle for California. Winner gets to cut in line at Spagos.
* SAN DIEGO 19, TAMPA BAY 14: At halftime, both teams decide the weather is too darn nice where they live to play football. And they both go home.
* DALLAS 21, PHOENIX 17: Did you see where Emmitt Smith was asked if he’d be satisfied with a new $2 million-a-year contract, and he said, “That’s a Barry Sanders contract. I want an Emmitt Smith contract.” Hmmm.
* NY JETS 20, NEW ENGLAND 10: There goes that Patriots winning streak.
* KANSAS CITY 17, SEATTLE 1: It’s now official. Rick Mahorn has scored more points this season than the Seahawks.
* NEW ORLEANS 21, WASHINGTON 20: The Skins ain’t what they used to be.
* BEST PICK LAST WEEK: LA Raiders 21, Seattle 6 (LA won, 20-3).
* WORST PICK LAST WEEK: Indianapolis 20, New England 7 (Patriots won, 37-34, in OT).
* RECORD LAST WEEK: 4-10.
* RECORD VS. SPREAD: 4-9-1.
* SEASON RECORD: 85-55.
* SEASON VS. SPREAD: 60-76-4.