* BEARS 20, LIONS 13: Hey. Don’t get mad. Last year they lost the opener and had a great season. Consider this a good luck charm.
* MINNESOTA 28, GREEN BAY 21: Thank God the preseason doesn’t count, or Minnesota would be in the playoffs already.
* SAN FRANCISCO 23, NY GIANTS 17: No Montana. No Craig. No Walsh. Still winning.
* HOUSTON 34, PITTSBURGH 12: Drew Hill was Plan B to the Oilers. To everyone else, he’s Plan A. That’s why Houston will win their division.
* BUFFALO 38, LA RAMS 7: Bruce is back.
* CLEVELAND 24, INDIANAPOLIS 9: The Colts off to another fine season.
* NEW ORLEANS 17, PHILADELPHIA 14: I could be wrong, but I’m not sure the Eagles are as great as everyone thinks.
* ATLANTA 27, NY JETS 20: No Deion. And Andre Rison just signed. So why do I pick the Falcons? Because they play dirty.
* SEATTLE 24, CINCINNATI 21: Tom Flores looks across the sideline at David
“Don’t call me Don” Shula and says, “Man, I have been away a long time.”
* TAMPA BAY 28, PHOENIX 24: Who cares?
* KANSAS CITY 21, SAN DIEGO 9: Bob Gagliano finally gets to start a season as No. 1 quarterback. I hope he lasts through the first game.
* DENVER 17, LA RAIDERS 16: Aren’t these games always 17-16?
* (MONDAY NIGHT) DALLAS 23, WASHINGTON 20: That’s right. I’m picking an upset for the very first Monday night game. So? You wanna make something of it?