* Saints 21, Lions 12: The Lions already got Pat Swilling, Brett Perriman and Mel Gray out of the Saints. They expect a victory as well?
* Phoenix 20, Dallas 17: The Cowboys, without Emmitt Smith to blame, now say their losing is the result of a reduction in the number of Cowboys cheerleaders, and how dare their owner be such a tightwad.
* Pittsburgh 24, Cincinnati 20: I wonder how Andre Ware feels watching David Klingler — who was his college backup — now starting for the Bengals.
* New England 6, Seattle 1: Battle of rookie quarterbacks, Rick Mirer against Drew Bledsoe. Winner doesn’t have to show ID at the postgame party,
* Philadelphia 27, Washington 10: No Rypien = a whippin’.
* NY Giants 30, LA Rams 10: New York vs. LA! The Russian Tea Room vs. Spago! Leno vs. Letterman! Muggings vs. drive-by shootings! Such a choice!
* San Diego 24, Houston 20: Warren Moon has been sacked so often this season he should come with green stamps and a receipt.
* LA Raiders 19, Cleveland 9: Raghib Ismail went to Canada as a Rocket, came back as an Airplane, and is currently sitting like a Bus.
* San Francisco 23, Atlanta 17: Pierce Holt, caught up in the emotion of his return to Frisco, jumps and tackles his Atlanta teammate just as he’s about to score a touchdown.
* Kansas City 19, Denver 17 (Monday night): The John and Joe Show. The other players might as well go home.