* Detroit 20, NY Giants 17: First of all, you should know that I always get these Lions picks wrong. Second, the Giants stink.
* Dallas 107, Cincinnati 102: The Bengals score all their points in the final three minutes, after the Cowboys leave the field because they’re laughing so hard.
* Kansas City 20, Buffalo 19: If this is indeed a preview of the AFC championship, then please, Lord, let this be the outcome.
* Philadelphia 27, Washington 14: Here’s the only problem with new quarterbacks like Gus Frerotte, who come out of nowhere and play a great first game. They have to play a second game.
* Cleveland 17, Denver 15: What’s this world coming to? I’m picking Vinny Testaverde over John Elway?
* LA Raiders 20, Houston 7: This week, Art Shell gets in an argument with Barney the Dinosaur and says, “You’re a purple so-and-so.” He later denies it.
* Miami 34, New England 31: Drew is still new, and Dan is still the man.
* Minnesota 20, Tampa Bay 10: That was a pretty quick rookie season for Trent Dilfer, wasn’t it?
* NY Jets 9, Indianapolis 7: Remember when Don Majkowski was the Next Great Quarterback?
* San Diego 30, Seattle 13: A new streak begins.
* Arizona 17, Pittsburgh 14: Bam (Bam) Morris and his wife, Pebbles.
* Green Bay 17, Chicago 14 (Monday night): Can you imagine if Wayne Fontes had shown this much patience with Erik Kramer? What would we have written about?
* Best pick last week: Detroit 21, Chicago 20 (Lions won, 21-16).
* Worst pick last week: San Diego 28, Denver 10 (Broncos won, 20-15).
* Record last week: 6-5.
* Last week vs. spread: 3-8.
* Season record: 56-45.
* Season vs. spread: 48-51-2.