LIONS WIN? WE DESERVE SOME TIME OFF

Let’s dispense with the small talk.

Now, for this week’s picks . . .

* LIONS 24, PITTSBURGH 10: Yes, the Lions finally win. I vote that Mayor Young gives us the whole week off to celebrate the occasion.
* CLEVELAND 20, DENVER 17: Elway! Kosar! Tora! Tora! Tora!
* MIAMI 38, HOUSTON 34: The House of Pain? I thought that was my chiropractor’s office.
* BUFFALO 28, NEW ENGLAND 16: Well, the Patriots have done it again. They’ve opened the shoe box and let Doug Flutie out.
* WASHINGTON 20, NEW ORLEANS 19: Wait a minute. Wasn’t New Orleans supposed to be good?
* MINNESOTA 29, TAMPA BAY 21: Wait a minute. Wasn’t Tampa Bay supposed to be lousy?
* PHOENIX 30, SAN DIEGO 10: Actually, the game is canceled at halftime when both teams decide it’s just too nice outside to play football.
* GREEN BAY 17, ATLANTA 3: Who cares?
* LA RAIDERS 21, SEATTLE 17: Baseball season ends. Bo Jackson hops a plane. He lands in LA. Fields a punt. Returns it 89 yards. Raiders win.
* NY GIANTS 33, DALLAS 16: After today, Jimmy Johnson will be the only 0-4 coach in the NFL. That’ll muss his hair.
* NY JETS 24, INDIANAPOLIS 17: If Al keeps this up, they’ll be called New York city Toon Town.
* CINCINNATI 21, KANSAS CITY 20: Quick. Spell Marty Schottenh . . . Scottin .
. . Skattun . . . never mind.
* LA RAMS 27, SAN FRANCISCO 21: The 49ers lose when Roger Craig, the baseball manager, accidentally suits up at fullback.
* PHILADELPHIA 23, CHICAGO 20 (Monday night): I see fog. I see lots of fog. I see . . . I can’t see anything.
* RECORD LAST WEEK: 7-7.
* RECORD VS. SPREAD: 8-6.
* SEASON RECORD: 27-15.
* SEASON RECORD VS. SPREAD: 23-18-1.
* BEST PICK LAST WEEK: Indianapolis over Atlanta, 21-17. Colts won, 13-9.
* WORST PICK LAST WEEK: Kansas City over San Diego, 20-19. Chargers won, 21-6.

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