“NOW COACH? NOW? YOU WANT ME IN NOW? I’M READY! I’M–“
“Uh, Chuck, could you please hand me the clipboard?”
“Oh, sure, coach.”
“Thank you. Oh — and Chuck?”
“NOW COACH? NOW? PASS PLAY? YOU WANT A PASS PLAY FIRST? YOU WANT A–“
“Chuck. I, uh, need the pencil that was with the clipboard.”
“Oh . . . here.”
“By the way, Chuck–“
“NOW? NOW? YOU WANT ME IN NOW?”
“X-SCREEN! RED DOG LEFT! NO. WAIT. RED DOG RIGHT! YEAH! ON THREE! RED DOG RIGHT! IS THAT RIGHT? IS THAT–
“Chuck, would you–“
“WOULD I PASS? SURE COACH! CURL LEFT! NO. WAIT. CURL RIGHT. ON TWO! HUHH–
“NO? OH, YEAH. ON THREE INSTEAD, RIGHT? YEAH. ON THREE! READY, SET! READY, SET! HUUHH–
“Don’t you think we should at least wait until the bus gets there?”
“Oh, uh, right, Coach.”
“Thank you, Chuck.”
And now, the picks . . .
LIONS 20, EAGLES 16: You don’t like Buddy Ryan. I don’t like Buddy Ryan. Even the Eagles don’t like Buddy Ryan. All that hatred has to add up to something.
BEARS 20, FALCONS 7: Do you get the feeling Jim McMahon is just waiting until the playoffs?
VIKINGS 17, GIANTS 10: Minnesota needs it. Minnesota wants it. Minnesota gets it.
PACKERS 20, BUCCANEERS 10: The battle of the Bays. Oh yes. We wait all year for this one.
COWBOYS 24, CHARGERS 13: And don’t give me that stuff about San Diego being revitalized — two wins, eight losses is two wins, eight losses.
STEELERS 20, OILERS 3: The wait’ll-next-year game No. 1.
DOLPHINS 28, BILLS 24: The wait’ll-next-year game No. 2.
RAMS 10, PATRIOTS 9: LA is missing its offense. But New England’s best defenders are at home watching on TV.
RAIDERS 14, BROWNS 9: Jim Plunkett is, what, 17 years older than Bernie Kosar? That has to count for something, doesn’t it?
SAINTS 21, CARDINALS 10: New Orleans. St. Louis. Forget the game. I want to hear the jazz bands.
BRONCOS 13, CHIEFS 10: Denver coach Dan Reeves has complained that
“outside” distractions are plaguing his team. He said this right after filming a TV commercial.
JETS 26, COLTS 7: Oh. I’m really going out on a limb with this one.
BENGALS 17, SEAHAWKS 14: Hey! Dave Krieg is back! Hey! All right! Big deal.
49ERS 21, REDSKINS 13 (MONDAY NIGHT): You don’t agree, do you? You’re sure I’m wrong, aren’t you? You’re laughing now, right? Just watch.
BEST PICK LAST WEEK: Giants 17, Eagles 16. The Giants won, 17-14.
WORST PICK LAST WEEK: Broncos 31, Chargers 7. The Chargers won, 9-3.
RECORD LAST WEEK: 10-4.
RECORD FOR SEASON: 102-37-1. CUTLINE Chuck Long