Another season, Little rhyme,
Time to pick the NFL,
Get some wrong
then run like . . .
Ahem. Once again, may we present, for its fifth blockbuster year (Drum roll. . . . Yo. Hey. Wake up! Drum roll. Thank you.) this week’s picks. . . .
* PHOENIX 17, LIONS 7: Barry Sanders carries one time, scores a touchdown, then demands to renegotiate his contract.
* CINCINNATI 14, CHICAGO 10: A post card arrives from Jim McMahon in San Diego. It is a photo of a bikini-clad beauty. “Thinking of you in December . .
. ” it reads. The Bears are not amused.
* TAMPA BAY 1, GREEN BAY 0: The battle of the Bays! Right off the bat! Wow!
* SAN FRANCISCO 20, INDIANAPOLIS 19: My goal this year is to learn at least one other Colts player besides Eric Dickerson. I haven’t done it yet.
* MINNESOTA 22, HOUSTON 19: Anthony Carter on one side. Lorenzo White on the other. You sure this isn’t Michigan-Michigan State?
* BUFFALO 33, MIAMI 21: They’re going to be calling him Shoeless Don Shula pretty soon. That team is hurtin.’
* NY JETS 28, NEW ENGLAND 14: If this game were played in the hospital, the Patriots would win, hands down. That’s where most of their team is.
* CLEVELAND 20, PITTSBURGH 17: Last year’s coach is history. Last year’s running back is suspended for cocaine. I’m not sure I recognize the Browns anymore.
* LA RAMS 17, ATLANTA 9: The Rams now have my favorite player in the NFL:
“Flipper” Anderson. I hear his two best friends are Bud and Sandy.
* NEW ORLEANS 31, DALLAS 10: It figures the Cowboys start their season in an indoor stadium. That way, Jimmy Johnson’s hair doesn’t get messed up.
* DENVER 28, KANSAS CITY 27: The Chiefs ought to make a deal with the Raiders. As long as Bo Jackson is still playing baseball in Kansas City, why not let him run over to the stadium and return a few punts?
* PHILADELPHIA 34, SEATTLE 17: They’re going to elect Randall Cunningham mayor before this season is over.
* LA RAIDERS 17, SAN DIEGO 6: A post card for McMahon arrives from Chicago. It is a picture of a team celebrating a championship. “Thinking of you in December . . . ” it reads. McMahon is not amused.
* WASHINGTON 24, NY GIANTS 17: Washington is better than it showed last year. New York is better than it showed last year or the year before. Who knows? This year they might both stink.