” . . . ma . . . ma?”
Yes, child. I am your mother.
*
“WAAAAAAAH!”
I’ll get him, honey. You go back to sleep. You have to work in the morning.
*
“Mommeee . . . I wan’ dum! I wan’ dum!”
All right, sweetheart. You can have some. But share with your brother, OK?
“Mommy! Joey threw his truck at me!”
I’m sure it was an accident, honey.
*
“Mommy. Wake up. I feel sic– blecchhhh!
. . . ?
*
“Mom, Susie put Joey in the washing machine.
That’s nice, sweethea . . . SHE WHAT?
*
“Your son is a good student, but he talks too much to his neighbors.”
I’ll speak to him about it, I promise.
*
“BURRRRRRP!”
Say ‘excuse me’ when you do that, honey.
*
“Mom! Can I go as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle for Halloween? It only costs $40.”
Well, if you really want to . . .
*
“Mom, Joey lit the dog on fire.”
That’s nice, sweetheart . . . WHAT?
*
“NO FAIR! How come Bobby’s parents let him watch TV until 11 o’clock?”
If Bobby’s parents let him jump off a bridge, would you want to do that, too?
*
“Mom. What does ‘hot and sexy’ mean?”
Well, um . . . did you ask your father?
*
“This food is terrible. How come we can’t go to McDonald’s?”
Children are starving in China. Now clean your plate, or you won’t be excused.
*
“Please, mom, can we get a dog, please?”
If you promise to feed it and take it out.
*
RRRRUFFFF! RRRUFFFFF!
Kids, the dog has to go out. . . . Kids? . . .
*
“Hurry up, Ma, we got little league practice, and Joey’s got his piano lesson and Susie’s got to her dentist appointment . . . ”
Coming, I’m coming . . .
*
“I don’t want those, Mom! I want Nikes!”
Nikes?
*
“But Ma, all the other guys are going to sleep-away camp.”
I know, honey, but it’s kind of expens . . . all right. We’ll find a way.
*
“Muhh-ther, I’m 14 years old. Stop treating me like a child.”
Yes, dear. Can I have my lipstick back?
*
“I met this girl in biology class, Mom. She keeps looking at me.”
That’s because she likes you, sweetie . . .
*
“Hey Ma, look. I’m taller than you.”
Good. Now can you reach the sugar?
*
“He’s totally cool, mother. You never like any of the boys I date.”
That’s not true. I just asked why he wears those skull earrings all the time . . .
*
“Mom, I completely bombed on the SAT’s. I’m never going to college.”
You can always take them again . . .
*
“Mom, you and Dad don’t have to come into the dorm. Just drop me here, OK?”
If you say so, honey . . .
*
“Mom, I met this girl
“Mom, I met this boy . . .
“Mom, we’re getting married . . .
“Mom, we’re gonna have a baby . . . ”
*
“Mom, will you be in there with me?”
If that’s what you want, dear.
“HOLD MY HAND, MA! . . . AHHH . . .”
You’re doing fine, honey.
*
“NONO . . . I . . . AWWWWGAWWWD . . . MAMA . . . ”
*
” . . . ma . . . ma?”
Yes, child. I am your mother.
*
Happy Mother’s Day.
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