blank

MOTIVATION IS WELL AND FINE– BUT NOT IF IT’S TO BE 7-9

by | Dec 29, 1990 | Detroit Free Press | 0 comments

Well, we’ve come to the end of another long and hard season, and Elvis still hasn’t shown up for a Falcons game.

Let’s get right to the picks, shall we? . . .

* Seattle 30, Lions 23: I know football players all want to win. But somehow, playing to earn a 7-9 record is not the same as trying to make the playoffs.
* Chicago 23, Kansas City 20: The only people who like the weather in Chicago this time of year are the Bears.
* Philadelphia 24, Phoenix 20: I don’t want to the say the Eagles — who have knocked out seven opposing quarterbacks — take great pride in doing this. I will say they have seven notches on their helmets.
* Buffalo 20, Washington 17: Actually, both teams decide that there is no reason to play, because both are in the playoffs. This is just the score they make up to tell the media.
* Cincinnati 34, Cleveland 7: When the gun sounds, the Cleveland players fall to their knees and scream, “THANK GOD!”
* Miami 28, Indianapolis 14: Wouldn’t it be funny if Dan Marino got 50 pairs of Isotoner gloves for Christmas — and nothing else?
* New York Giants 24, New England 7: Sam Jankovitch, the new CEO of the Pats, asked his team to “play your hardest” last week. The Pats lost, 42-7. This week, Sam says, “OK, now try your easiest.”
* San Francisco 17, Minnesota 10: The highlight of this meaningless game is when Jerry Burns joins the rock group The Clash for a halftime rendition of
“Should I Stay or Should I Go?”
* Dallas 20, Atlanta 17: A major brawl — during which Jerry Glanville and Jimmy Johnson fight about who had that hairstyle first.
* Denver 9, Green Bay 6: After which both teams say, “Can we go home now?”
* Tampa Bay 21, New York Jets 13: Now here’s a game you want to rush home for.
* LA Raiders 20, San Diego 9: Black and blue for New Year’s.
* Pittsburgh 17, Houston 10: No Moon, no sunshine.
* New Orleans 26, LA Rams 13 (Monday night): To try and boost ratings for this turkey, Dan Dierdorf challenges Al Michaels to a basket-shooting contest.
“Hey,” Dierdorf says, “if Costas can get away with this garbage, so can we.”
* Last week: 9-5.
* Last week vs. spread: 5-9.
* Season record: 133-77.
* Season vs. spread: 107-100-3.
* Best pick last week: Lions 24, Green Bay 20. Lions won, 24-17.
* Worst pick last week: Houston 31, Cincinnati 24. Bengals won, 40-20.

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

blank
Mitch Albom writes about running an orphanage in impoverished Port-au-Prince, Haiti, his kids, their hardships, laughs and challenges, and the life lessons he’s learned there every day.

🛍 For just $2.99/mo or $29.99/year, you get access to every weekly issue

🎁 All proceeds will be donated to help the daily operations of the orphanage, Have Faith Haiti Mission

🗞 Paid subscribers also get to hear directly from the kids through the “Have Faith Haiti Chronicles.” It’s a monthly/quarterly-ish newsletter written and published by students in a media and journalism class.

blank

Subscribe for bonus content and giveaways!