NOTHING FOR NEW KING TO STICK TONGUE OUT AT

THE LIVE ALBOM

* I must admit, I am glad the NBA season is over.
* Not thatNIKE I’ve been affectNIKEed or anyNIKEthing. Sure, it’s been twoNIKE months of nonstop basketNIKEballNIKE, but I’ve done a good job of keepNIKEing my persNIKEpecNIKEtive.

* Finals Observation No. 1: During the postgame TV interviews, the Bulls all wore black hats that read “1991 NBA Champions” — except for Michael Jordan, whose white hat read “Just Do it. No. 1.” So much for that teammate thing. By the way, Michael. Now that you are King of the Universe, we must discuss this tongue business. It was cute a few years ago. But now, cut it out. People might mistake you for Gene Simmons from KISS. Or worse, their long-lost dog, Bowser . . .
* Finals Observation No. 2: The Chicago Tribune told readers Tuesday how there was no need to fear a victory celebration because “we are not Detroit.” Right. As soon as the Bulls won, the looting began in Chicago. By morning, 100 people were arrested, and two kids had been hit by stray bullets.
* Watch how the national media ignores that.
* Even allowing for injuries, I thought Mike Dunleavy was outcoached in this series.
* Meanwhile, Vlade Divac became a media star. We all loved sitting down with Vlade and his stories, nodding, laughing, slapping our knees and going, “What the hell did he say?” Of course, next week, Vlade returns to the Best Western commercials, under his stage name, Yakov Smirnoff.
* I, for one, will miss The National.
* Just what baseball needs! Two new teams!
* I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait for those Miami games, in August, in an outdoor stadium.
* Can I wear a towel?
* OK, so I tease Will Perdue. He reminds me of someone. I can’t place it. But whenever I see him, I have this urge to scream “Gollll–eee!”
* You think Andre Rison might try car-pooling for a little while?
* Someone pointed out that Andre’s last speeding ticket was for 128 m.p.h. and this one was for 111. So, obviously, he’s getting better.
* Finals observation No. 3: Magic Johnson and Michael Jordan’s salaries for playing basketball are less than a third of their total incomes. Hmmm.
* Nobody seems to know how old Marv Albert really is. I’ll tell you what throws people off. It’s all those “Karate Kid” movies he keeps making.

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